My Reverie

Back to blogging

2007-09-18T00:13:00.000+08:00

I've abandoned my blog for quite sometime already. Now I'm back to leave a post. My cousin and auntie was here since last friday. And only today I accompanied them the whole day. Went to chinatown and shopped around. The cheongsams are so attractive!! Anyway, I bought a new sports bra for only $24.60! Fun Fit brand from OG. Not bad, hot pink colour. If its comfortable I'll buy a few more next time I go there. haha!

Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been arguing quite alot. I'm beginning to see so clearly that we are having lesser things in common. The things we used to do together are just entertainment to make each other happy. Now, he just dreads about everything. We seldom goes out together these days, we could even not meet up for more than a week. Worse, he won't even let me complete my sentence on the phone. Find it so difficult to communicate with him...I'm starting to feel so distanced from him. He seems to want to change me into another person whom I'm not and I hate it. I don't know, I'm not happy!! With or without him I'm not happy. I miss our pass, when we're both so happy with just sitting beside each other. My heart sunk deep whenever I saw other loving couples of my age..

Tell me,

how did we fell in love 1 year 3 months and 12 days ago?
How deep was our love for each other?
How much more longer could we hold on?
Where is our happiness?

Nothing much

2007-07-29T13:04:00.000+08:00

Yea, its another weekend. Nothing much happened in my life. Don't feel like blogging lately..Exams and Exams and Exams. Nothing but Exams. All the best to everyone!

And yes!!! My mom's treat is going to end soon. One more week or radiotherapy. haha!! Very happy for her as she really gone through alot, physically and emotionally. I just hope that everything will go according as planned and soon she'll be up and jumping around. It just hurts to see her suffering like this, not eating well and burnt neck, etc. Recover fast mom!!!

2007-07-22T01:18:00.000+08:00

Goodness, I just had dinner only (in the middle of the night!). Today was another boring weekend. I thought I'll get the Macdonald print advertisement job on friday but last minutes they told me someone else is going to do it job. So retarded. Than I ended up touring at singapore river with my classmates and teacher. Quite fun though, mad class and mad people. haha. Joking that if we ever got separated during the tour, than it'll be own time own target until 11pm. Meet 11pm at The Cannery. LOL!!! Took alot of photos again..but I don't feel like uploading it cause it'll take forever to do so. Than school wasn't that bad so far. Gossips and gossips. But I don't gossips that much. They did the talking, I listen nia.. =P

My life is so boring! Wanted to ask people out but everyone seems to be having their own activities. Tomorrow I'm going to meet my sweetie boyfriend!!!! YES! He is doing his duty today, so we didn't meet up. But, so what if we did meet up? We'll be doing nothing at his house or my house. So boring!! He don't want to go out because he is tired. sigh...what in the world should I do?

First week of school gone

2007-07-14T18:45:00.000+08:00

At a blink of the eye, a week has gone. My first week of school was fine. Teachers can't wait to start recap and teach us things. Exams is just next week, so stressful. But Still had some fun in school, especially on Wednesday (my birthday). haha!! Didn't expect my classmates to celebrate for me with 3 slices of simple cakes and a candle. Received lots of birthday wishes from them and other friends via msn, sms and friendster. Thnx peeps! That evening went out with my boyfriend to paragon's fish and co have dinner. Enjoy 10% off as I'm having birthday on that day, free compliment ice cream from them too!! But, very embarrassing as they announce to the whole restaurant (full house somemore) that I'm celebrating my birthday that day and sang me birthday song. haha!! Very happy lah. After the dinner my boyfriend wanted to buy wallet for me but too bad, didn't see a single I like. So headed to S&K at lucky plaza to buy the jumper I like using the money my dad gave me as a present. HEHE! The female staff let me enjoy her staff discount you know!! I don't know the female staff there and yet she let me enjoy the 30% discount!! How great is she. The jumper cost $69 and its new arrival, after discount is $48.30. lol! After that, my boyfriend duped me to his house saying that his mom got cook my share of dinner. But little did I know that his mom and sister prepared a little cake cutting ceremony for me. haha! They bought the cake from Mariott Hotel, bought a Cheongsam like dress and a suspender skirt for me. Thank you!! Didn't went to tkd training that day too..anyway training cancelled due to after grading break. But those who are preparing for competition still has training on that day. I'M NOT INVOLVEDMy birthday cake from Hana and Juaini Making wishes
Seafood platter for 2 and Salmon collar My salmon collar We can't finish the food!! My cookies and chip ice cream from Fish and Co. My candles infested cake from his family. lol
Anyway, thursday I received a call from my modeling agency (after 3 long years!) saying that they have a assignment for me. A print ad for Macdonald. Asking if I'm free to go down for interview that day or friday. I went down for the interview on friday lor, not interview actually..they just ask if I'm free on next thursday and friday or one of the 2 days if chosen to do the shoot. Wrote my name, age, agency and the days I'm free down than they took a few photos of me (2 face, 1 half body and 1 full body). Than say the agency will contact me if I'm confirm for this assignment. I wonder how long I'll wait lor..anyway got a bad feeling I won't get this job. haha!! Because I can feel my face cramping up when the photographer was taking my photos. I'm not comfortable posing for a stranger la..thats why. Moreover, I've never done modeling before..a total noob I am. Still ask me to pose like those in the magazines..

My saturday is wasted just like this, been at home the whole day doing nothing much. Just come online chatted with whoever chats with me in msn. Loggin to my WLNY account and chatted for a while. I don't know why, just feel so bored at home. NOTHING INTERESTING TO DO ONLINE LOR!!!!!!

A conclusion of my June holidays

2007-07-06T17:05:00.000+08:00

A Conclusion Of My June Holidays

Yes, my holidays are ending. And NO! I did not have much fun during this holidays.
-No Sun, sea, sand outing.
-No crazy shopping.
-No malaysia visit to grandparents
-NO FREEDOM!

The only places I've been to is
hospital-
orchard-
Clark quay-

I just spend my whole holidays in and out of hospital accompanying my mom. You guys must be thinking, "aww..how filial". BUT I'M NOT THAT MATURE ENOUGH TO SPEND THE STUPID HOLIDAYS I LOOKED FORWARD TO FOR SO LONG AND JUST CANCEL EVERY PLAN I MADE BECAUSE OF THE HOSPITAL TRIPS! I HATE MY LIFE. I hate it. I hate it when everyone is just having fun while I'm just stuck in the hospital or at home. I hate the sun shining so brightly. I hate the great singapore sales. I hate it when my siblings always go out even on weekends thinking that I'll always be at home. They didn't bother to stay at home even during the weekend when they have no work or school and let me have a break. Saturday my sister at home and sunday my brother at home. NO, THEY'LL NEVER STAY AT HOME. I ALSO NEVER HEAR THEM OFFERING THEMSELVES TO ACCOMPANY MY MOM TO THE HOSPITAL. I think I'm the only child my mom has. I hate them. Just because I happened to be on holidays doesn't mean I have to go through all these alone. HOLIDAYS ARE MY BREAK TIME! They only thought about themselves, never spared a thought for me, my mom. My brother, always seen no where at home. We all has to be home by 11.30pm at night and every night without fail, he'll be home later than that. Same goes to my sister too. FUCK THEM.

My class outing was held on Wednesday and I didn't turn up. Anyway, I wasn't keen on going. The whole holiday is going to end and NOT A SINGLE PERSON asked me out. Such classmates. I know some of them will read my blog. I know you'll regard me as a geek and feel offended. I can't be bothered. School is starting soon, I wondering how many lessons am I going to skip this term. How will I score this term..

I have endless things to complain about. I TOTALLY HATE MY LIFE. My head is bursting

NDP 07 Rehearsal

2007-07-01T20:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday attended the NDP07 rehearsal. Its wasn't as good as expected lor. Other than the army thinggy, the rest is just too artistic for me. haha!! I think its just boring lah, the whole event. I took some pictures

These photos took me so long to upload into the website sia..

Anyway, today is a boring day yet again. Did nothing much at home, went no where but the bus stop near my house there and colloect durians. Got cut by the durians some more!!! So poor thing right? haha! Than suddenly I got very bad stomaches, my whole body just went jellied and i kept on sweating. All these happened and I don't know why..But now I'm feeling much better already. =) Hope tomorrow will be a better day.

My mom is home.

2007-06-27T14:02:00.001+08:00

My mom is discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon. She came home after her radiotherapy treatment. So boring, I'm loosing my patience. Anyway, yesterday I went to hospital alone to pick her up. Brought her lunch and packed her stuffs. blah blah blah...and got home. Everything is alright.

Today I'm still so tired. I could really use a good day of rest. Off my mobile, lock the doors, put a sign "SILENCE AND BEWARE OF TIRED WOMAN GO MAD". But I know..this is impossible, my mom will somehow come and disturb me. Hence, later I got to go to school already. Count the stupid equipments. Sigh..if today training ends like 11pm, I'll go nuts. Tomorrow I still got to go to the hospital and spend the whole day there. Can't sleep, can watch tv but cannot hear it. So boring..Someone save me!!!!!!!!

But ok lah...lately my boyfriend has been a goodboy. He knows I must be very sian, thats why no matter how tired he is after his work he'll still come and find me. =)

My mom is hospitalised Pt. 2

2007-06-24T20:13:00.000+08:00

She called while I'm busy putting together all the important documents and stuff, trying my best to reach my dad's handphone. She is in the way, I'm busy. She shouted as if she knew everything. She don't know why I fell asleep, how tired it is to go hospital everyday and do nothing but wait, travel such long journey home, go out buy dinner alone, do houseworks, etc. SHE NEVER KNEW. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER?!

Sent my mom to hospital, she ah..keep on reprimanding me in the cab on the way there! NON STOP MACHINE GUN. She is nto as if alot older than me or what. JUST A FEW MONTHS, NOT EVEN A YEAR. DAMN! She has no right to reprimand me that much. She don't even know when my mom had her chemo. She don't even know if my mom is allergic to any medicine. When the nurses ask us my mom's information (drug allgery, which doctor in charge of her radio and chemo, when is the treatments, etc), she just kept quiet. ONLY THAN SHE IS QUIET. fuck. so very angry. I hate her yelling at me. Its not my fault for being so tired. I didn't ask to be that tired. sigh..i'm so fatigue. I just want to lie dead on my bed. No, I just want to get myself drunk, fall deep asleep ignoring the world for one night...

My mom is hospitalised

2007-06-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

My siblings and I send my mom into hospital on friday evening because she was burning a very high fever of 39.4. The doctor told us thats because her immune system is weak due to the chemotherapy. I felt kind of depressed..and frustrated as my sister kept on reprimanding me.

This is what happened..
My mom started her RADIOTHERAPY on tuesday. This radiotherapy things need to be done everyday, excluding weekend, and the duration for each treatment is 15mins (plus registration, getting ready and etc, everything is done at around 45mins). The radiotheray treatment for her is still fine for now as the doctor say the side effects will become worse during the 3rd and 4th weeks. Than as for her CHEMOTHERAPY, its scheduled on every thursday after her radiotherapy. That thursday was so boring and tiring for me as I did not have enough sleep. Unfortunately, my tkd training ended very very very late, as late as 11pm I'm still in school! Thats why..than early in the morning need to go to the hospital already. sigh..so fatigue. Thursday really spend the whole day in the hospital accompanying my mom. Everyday I was at the hospital accompanying my mom, I worry for her too, so is my dad whom insisted that we take cab home right after every treatments and avoid crowded places.

Finally on friday, my mom suggested that we have lunch at jurong point after her radiotherapy. I hesitated of cause lah..as I thought the nurses told me that her immune system will be very weak after chemo. But she feel like eatting at other places instead of always at the same place. Sian mah...I know, so I accompanied her lor. Had lunch and walked around for awhile before heading home. I was already so tired ah..I just fell dead not long upon reaching home at around 2+. Anyway, my mom is still fine before I slept. Than I was in a really deep sleep until my uncle and brother came home and made alot of noises (around 5pm). Only than ah..my mom told me that she might be burning a fever. So I paniced abit and look for a thermometre to see if she is really having a fever. Indeed she is burning hot, quickly I asked my brother to faster go and bath and accompany me send my mom to hospital. Than my sister called and ask what the hell I'm doing at home all these while. "MOM IS HAVING A FEVER YOU KNOW?!" She exclaimed. fuck.

I got to go first. Continue blogging when I got the time.

Where are my things?

2007-06-17T14:31:00.000+08:00

Ever since that few weeks my house had a face lift, I could find my things. So fed up! Somethings until now I couldn't find. Like my VEET, bought at $10 used once only and it just got lost somewhere IN MY HOUSE. I hate people moving my things around. I'm messy, but at least I could find my things. Once everything is neat and tidy, my things just got lost. GrRrRrRR~~!!

Anyway, my darling girlfriend is coming over to my house later. haha!! So glad she is coming over. Than I don't need to leave the house and I could accompnay my mom too. My siblings is always out ah..so boring. I'm the only one at home always. Where is my freedom? My brother especially, went out everyday and only came home around mid night. Making my mom worry every night. So irritating. Tell him off, and he is not happy. Don't say him than my mom worry. Totally don't know what to do now.

Some other thing is that I don't know why my boyfriend is so ah pek these days. His life style is just so old! I can't stand him. I wish that he could get his youth back. I realised that we really has alot of differences. Eveyrthing he does not like doing I loves it like mad. I felt so controlled. He's acting like my another father. I hate this. I already don't have much freedom and yet I'm attached to another person who wants to control me. MY LIFE IS SUCH A BORE!!! Everytime things like these happenes, I feel like getting myself drunk and just throw my phone into the sea..so no one could find me. I want some night life, I'm NOT A HOMELY PERSON! I'm always thinking of gettin out of the house. No one understands me. I'm suffering for your happiness. And who could give me my happiness? Let me get myself drunk.

I love my mom.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love my girlfriend.
I love my boyfriend.

bore, boring, bored.

2007-06-16T00:05:00.000+08:00

Bored-ness could really lead someone nuts. haha! I'm feeling so bored and I don't know why. Where is everyone? Everyone seems to have activities. But why I seems to have none? I really hope that someone will ask me out for a coffee session or a walk or just ask me out...fast. I'm feeling so bored already!

Yesterday, went to orchard to meet ganga. On the way there that time, I met this not bad looking ang moh. Actually I don't really care about anyone in the train. I noticed him because he stood infront of me and I was busy with other things. Suddenly someone came and stood infront of you, you'll see one right? haha! And than I just lift up my head slowly and look at him. He gave me a blurred look and smile. Its only polite to smile back and so I did. He seems so lost in the MRT, kind of cute. And he is very polite and friendly. The sits beside me was empty, he even ask if he could sit beside me. I mean, no one would ask if they could sit beside someone in the train right? haha! I nodded and he sat down. He kept on looking at the MRT map, worried that he might miss his stop. When the train annouce "NEXT STOP, ORCHARD", he quickly stands up. lol. And than the other lady quickly sat at his place. He just smiled back and gestured that the sit is available. Very polite, unlike some ugly singaporeans who don't even care when you're just about to sit down..they just came in and slot themselves into the empty sit. Than I was alighting at the same stop with him too. And he let me walk first. How cute..I think alot of girls will like him. haha!! Seldom would I meet such gentlman, or I never did?? All the strangers are just so cold. Anyway, I did say thanks. Than he started talking to me. Very interesting ah..he has never been to singapore before. He was sent here to working if I didn't remember wrongly. New Yorker, studies philosophy but working in finanace. haha! Than finally, we are going our seperate ways..he ask if we could meet up some day for a drink or a tour around. Of cause, being a very kind person I offer to play host for his short few months stay. He ah..didn't bring handphone nor pen. I wonder what happens if he got lost. haha!! Too bad he don't have my number. I told him that I'll add him in msn, and I did add him lah. Just that until now I haven't seen him online. hmmm..But, he really makes me wonder, wouldn't life be better if everyone was like him?

1st Anniversary + Carnival

2007-06-11T21:27:00.000+08:00

Starting on 6th June, last wednesday. Exactly a year ago from that day, we started a new chapter in our lives together as a couple. Through happiness and saddnes, through the storm and the rain, through his hot temper and my wilderness, we've been together for one whole year. He was my first boyfriend that have been together with me for a year (and still counting on). I'm so blessed. But somtimes his temper really drives me up the wall. Other times he is just so adorable. How we celebrated our anniversary? Morning to evening we were both busy at school/work. So only meet up for just a simple dinner at BILLY BOMBER (Jurong Point somemore) and than headed to his house. haha. Because next day he still need to report to camp and he has yet iron his clothes and got ready. Yup so I went to his house so I could spend more time with him that evening. haha. He haven't get hsi pay until 10th June so didn't get me anything. But I bought him a pair of lovers' cups with some printed picture on it. Very cute and interesting (I'll post the photo of it next time). Yup, chit chatted and I fell asleep because I'm too tired. That was how we celebrated our first anniversary.

Saturday, we went shopping for my present. he is lucky that this time is the GREAT SINGAPORE SALES period. haha! Or else he will have to spend more (yet he don't know that he is lucky). Yup, went out with good mood and came home with bad mood. First we headed to the army market to do his things, but he didn't get anything done there because has to wait for a very long time. No patience..his mood off already. than went downstairs to eat as we were both hungry. Than I couldn't decide what to eat becasue everyday I'm eatting almost the same thing. So I took quite a long time to decide. His mood double turned off. Than we quarell. After eating, our next destination was to bugis to find the bag he wants and get it. Than his mood off, he don't want to go anymore. *Irritated* Than fine..we headed to vivo the ADDIDAS Boutique to buy a jacket h promised to get me as our first anniversary present. So we reached there and headed to addidas. Before reaching the boutique, he side tracked to levis's store. Never mind..walk one round inside and came out. Nothing much there. Than ADDIDAS. Roam so many rounds, finally found a jacket of my liking, but he say its too expensive. my turn to mood off. Never mind..roam a few more rounds in the boutique and saw nothing there I like. So he decide to head to Hereen than boutique. Than fine lor..we go there feeling irritated. Than at hereen that boutique, we keep on asking to quickly choose what I like. So he could quickly pay the money and than quickly go other places. Kept on rushing me. I hate being rushed at when shopping. Because you can't think straight when you're being rushed. Than everything there was above his budget or I don't like. I love that yellow jacket with a camel embroided on the left chest but he say its not nice and too expensive. =( So I ended up with a normal black jacket and whilte strips on it. So boring man. And got the wrong size too!! Thnx to his rushing. Now I got to find time to get it change before they go out of stock. sigh..what a unhappy shopping experience.

Than Sunday I met up with ganga and headed to a carnival held at the old police academy. We had so much fun there!! Although some part she spoke to the guy that she like and sthe 2 other friends than sort of ignored me. I didn't join in their conversation is because I don't know nepale language. haha!! Whatever it is, we still had a great deal of fun. Took countless photos and even played a game for free!!! I love those boys who let us played for free. Actually only one of them agreed to let us play for free at 6pm when they closed. Thnx for your generousity! Although Ganga and I know you have ulterior motive..lol

We played bungie jumping - bungie.

haha!! Jumping like kids and enjoying like there is no tomorrow. We were jumping madly, making lots of noises while the boys were packing up. They look so man. LOL!! Chit chatted with them and asked them if the need people to promote bungie jumping at carnivals. haha!! We could jump for them. I think business will bloom if they hire us to jump for them. haha. Because while we were playing so many people walked passed were looking at us, kids pulling their parents and pointing at us shouting "mummy mummy, I want to play too..I want to play too." haha. After playing, we felt so sweaty and relaxed! Like they say excercing help relieves stress. We totally feel it. haha. After jumping so madly, we headed home. Was so tired that not long after I reached home I just dropped dead on my bed. I just loves going to carnivals. And I just loves hanging out with my best friend Ganga. =D

Reverse Psychology

2007-06-05T18:43:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to think that those around me are using reverse psychology to motivate me in most ways of life. But little did they know that reverse psychology has only 50% of success in lifting the person up in life and 50% of failure rate which causes people to fall even deeper.

I've experience it, sometimes I got through but most of the time I just broke down. They thought that saying hurtful words will get me to WAKE UP and than I'll start to pull up my socks. Its just not it, I'll only dislike them. They totally sucks when the apply their reverse psychology. I mean, not all people could except harsh words..if everyone could except harsh words than there won't be so much depression victims in the harsh reality. They said the harsh words without even understand what kind of situation I'm in. Its so irony.. We are all sensitive people. We have different limits to everything. The days you people practice reverse psychology on me infront of everyone, making me a ridicule were the days I start loosing faith.

I hate cruelty.
I hate sarcastism.
I hate "suan-ings".
I hate reverse psychology!!!
Screw that bad practice people!!
And please think twice before you act, don't push people off the verge of sanity.

2007-06-02T22:58:00.000+08:00

Today did almost nothing but sleep. I slept my whole evening away..from 3++ to 9.30pm. What a boring day. My cousin and auntie came over to visit us and stayed for a week. But I only went out with them for a day. LOL!! Don't know..kind of boring leh. I would rather walk alone..Somehow, we just don't have the kind of chemistry lah.

What to do? I'm a boring person with a attitude. My cousin ah...got my sister than don't need me already. They are now like best friends. I'm kind of jealous. haha!! My cousin claimed that she dotes me the most but hung out with my sister more. They went out without even aking me want to come along or not! This feeling totally sucks dude! The feeling of rejection. My sis seems to have everything i yearn to have. I simply hate her. lol

Everyone seems to be so boring suddenly. No one wants to go out..I hate staying at home. Sometimes I would rather go out for a walk near than staying at home. At home is just so boring! PLEASE WOULD SOMEONE JUST ASK ME OUT? haha.

Recently my boyfriend and I have been arguing alot. Next week is our first ANNIVERSARY! But we still fight verbally almost everyday. We fouhgt to the extend that I sometimes feel its so much better for us NOT TO BE TOGETHER ANYMORE. Totally no happiness, whats the point of being together? But I just loves him. =D Sigh..I'm just going nuts lately. Everything is just so boring now. HOW? I'm so loosing interesting in everything.

2007-05-23T00:01:00.000+08:00

I thought my blogger spoilt. For quite some time, I couldn't change my font colours, size, etc. haha! Anyway, its ok now.

Tonight's entry I just want to talk about whats happeneing between my boyfriend and I. I never believed in FOREVER. There is no such thing is forever the closest thing I believe in is just AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. I just the past really had a great impact to my future. I have this bad habit of being especially pessimistic alone at night. lol! I tried my best to quit this bad habit, but still to no avail yet. okok, I'm going side track already. Back back..that time my boyfriend ditched me but later we got back together. We had problems and stress too. And we both have trouble handling those things properly. Sometimes I just can't stand his temper and him being unreasonable. And he can't stand me nagging at him. He get jealouse easily (sometime it really irritates me alot), hot tempered, and definately not a spendthrieft person...complaining about how broke he is everyday. Can't afford to buy what I want ( he promised) for me. He loves to stay indoor and sleeps his time away, what a waste. For me, I love outdoors (thats why I got more guy friends than girls), when I want to save money to buy something I could definately do so in a period of time including regular pocket money. Anyway, we had our differences.

That time when we first got back together, he told me that he'll treat me better. Not shoutting at me, accompany me to many places. At first he did what what he said but as time passes by, he slowly changes. I've got a feeling that sometimes he just took me for granted. Sometimes only!

Sigh..now, he is still alright. One thing I don't understand about him is that why is he feeling so fatigue so easily? Everyday he'll just say that he is tired, want to sleep. I feel kind of bored. When he is with him buddies, he won't complain that much. I'm just nothing with we went out with his buddies, so boring. Where is your youth deary?

Actually I don't ask for much in this relationship. Just for him to
manage his finance better,
cut down on the complains about everyone around him,
get his youth back (more energetic please,he is not a 70 year old man),
and face life with a smile.

Most of the times I often tries to tell him things aren't always so complicated. A simple thing infront of the eye, he would always complicate it. I love him.

2007-05-14T20:10:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you hugged your parents? For me, I've long forgotten how it felt like already. My mom knew that she might loose her life. So she asked for a hug from me..for merely a minute, I felt so warmth, loved, protected and also sence of insecurity. Than I felt like crying..but I couldn't. I don't want to let her see me crying. She'll break down with me. Sigh..I know. All I could do now is spend more time with her and treasure those times. Don't make her angry, please her as much as possible. Supporting her too.

I can't live without her..I felt so remorseful. Even now as I type this entry, I'm tring my best to hold my tears in. Actually up til now, I still can't except the fact that she is disgnosed with cancer. I JUST CAN'T! I'm going to be crushed down by stress...a listening ear and shoulder to cry on needed badly.

2007-05-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

Dear Mom,

No matter what I will always love you. I never did hate you!! NEVER! I just sometimes hate the way you manage things (management). That makes me feel very vindicated. I'm trying my best to grow up now. All I wish for now is you to get well soon so that you won't leave us. We still needs you. Heard from daddy that you're going for the CT scan next week. Next week onwards everything will be very costly. I'll use as little money as possible. Anyway I end lesson at 1pm most of the time, so I'll always be home early.

I wanted to work so I don't need to ask money from my dad. I don't want to burden my dad..if there is someone looking after my mom the period that she is doing the chemo and radiation, I'll go to work. I'll earn my own and support myself. I know money is hard-earned.

Please get well soon. I'm supporting you and always loving you.

Beloved
2nd daughter

2007-05-07T23:21:00.000+08:00

This morning went to the polyclinic to consult the doctor about my allergy and the thyroid thinggy. Everything my mom and I do has to que! So bloody long somemore. And in the afternoon my mom has a appointment with the hospital. Anyway, qued and done everything, went home collect some stuff and tok cab to meet my da at clementi. From there he drove us the NUH. We searched the place for the stupid radiothrepy department. So difficult to get to.

But after all the trouble the doctor want to talk to my dad and me (I happenend to be there) about my mom, why is she referred here and things. Its a bad news..my mom is diagnosed with cancer! I felt as though a big big rock just dropped from the sky onto my heart upon hearing this from the doctor. I'm kind of scared. The cancer has already reaches the 3rd stage already..so the faster we start the treatment the better. But its so damn expensive!! If we can't afford the medical fees here my mom will have to go back malaysia to recieve her treatment (which I don't know how much, at least cheaper than sg)!

I think will cost about
(11,000.00 x 2) ++ SGD

There will be 33 sessions. And before the 33 sessions of treatment, My mom still has to go for full body check up to see if the cancerous cells did spread to the other places..(please don't spread!!)

I don't know..now I totally got no mood to type so much. Please may it be better. At least let me be pink in health so my part of medical fee could be used on my mom's..oh my goodness! I doubt not many people goes through this....why does it have to be my family!!! I know I used to be unhappy about my family, this and that..but also not to the extent that I wish them dead!!! GRRRRR~~~!!! I'M SO STRESSED OUT! SOS!!!

2007-05-06T11:52:00.000+08:00

Woah!! Yesterday I really can't take the itch anymore and went to Tan Tock Seng hospital. Took cab there with my boyfriend and waited for a long time to consult the doctor. The doctor gave me 3 injections and made me waited again for a bed to rest on! Wait and Wait and Wait. from 4+ to 9+. But the cause of this itchiness is still unknown. Since wednesday, everything I eat and drink is normal. I dodn't take in new food or what. The pills for my thyroids I've been eatting it for almost one month already...could it be the allergy to the drug surface now? Hmmm...the ans is still unknown. Anyway, the feeling of the injections is funny. During the last injection, I felt that there is a weird ball thingy rush up my hands to my heart than up my throat (and to other parts of my body). The chemicals, I could actually taste it!! Its disgusting. Straigh away I feel very very very giddy! But still i have to wait..there isn't enough bed (what the hell)...waited for almost and hour till I almost fall off the chair. haha! Finally I got a bed and I was pushed into the observation room. than slept there until the dinner came. I was so hungry when I saw the congee. Chicken congee and warm Milo. ate nd I fell asleep again. lol. My dad and my boyfriend took turns to come in visit me. My rashes are subsiding and the doctor says I could go home already. But the paper works and such are so slow. Waited and waited and waited..and I could go off already. Payment also wait, take medicine also wait. My dad also complained about he waitting. Everything in the hospital must wait. Wait very long somemore. When I was waiting for my medicine, There is a group of ah bengs obstructing the flow of human traffic. Can't decide if they want to go in or not. irritating and loud! Grrr..anyway, my dad drove us to eat a fullfilling dinner at bukit timah. Than my boyfriend and I took cab home from there. Ahhh...rest rest rest!!

Today is our 11th month together! haha!! So looking foward to our outting later. =DD

I'm Single

2007-04-21T19:39:00.000+08:00

This afternoon, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said that its better for us to break p as he don't want to hurt me even more. I know that he is under alot of stress, he shouts at me alot of times but I'll not leave him so easily. Why do he have to chose to leave me? I know its kind of sudden, but both of us have been having trouble within ourselves since few months ago.

I don't know..his choice to leave me. I cried and cried and cried, as though my eyes will flow out with my tears any moment. Than after that he told me he regretted it, those words that he said. I was stunned! What am I to him? I'm not a dog whom he say come than I'll or go than I'll go...I really don't know what to reply. I didn't reply. I just want to say that if he really wants me, show it to me. PROVE IT THAT YOU WANT ME! Whether am I too good for you I know it (if you're nto good for me i'll ditched you long ago)...I'm just disappointed, sad and broken hearted.

Holidays to clinics to skin cnetre

2007-04-10T16:51:00.000+08:00

I went to malaysia last last friday all the way until last thursday midnight. Woah..what i love about the trip is maddness sale! Bought so many things there..
- 2 pairs shorts
-1 pair of lazy pants
- 1 micro miniskirt
- 6 tops!!!!
- 2 pairs of shoes
and lastly......alot alot alot of biscuits
Bought so much that I almost can't carry it back home. haha! The trip was not bad, my cousin wanted to bring me to their LADIES' NIGHT on thursday night..but too bad I've reached singapore already. LOL!! Wasted..I wanted to see how their ladies' night is..

This morning woke up kind of early just to go see doctor at jurong polyclinic!
You know how long I spent there? from 10am++ all the way until 1.30pm. SO LONG!!!!! The doctor made me speechless..one look of me, he knows that I don't loook normal..he told me that my lower eye lids look abit sagging, lighter than normal. haha!! But I ate alot, especially in malaysia (food haven!). He ask me measure my weight and I'm totally STUNNED! I used to be 40kg-42kg, but when I measured my weigh today I'm only 37 kg!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS! He told me that I have trambling hands and legs is because I'm disgnosed with THYROTOXICOSIS. what a complicated name. lolx. heres a link for youguys to know roughly whats its about.

http://www.medinfo.co.uk/conditions/thyrotoxicosis.html
(No wonder I'm feeling like jelly! My condition is quite bad..)

He sent me to the lab and a lady doctor draw my blood out for some test (don't kow what test). Woah..she poke my arm 2 times! The first time was on left hand after she poke it in shovel the needle under my skin around, she told me that she lost the vein. -.-! So pain! Than I changed hand. And agine she search for my vein before poking the needle in, after the needle went in, the vein almost lost again! PHEW~~!!!!!! It took her quite sometime for her to draw my blood. haha! But this kind of thing happened not the first time already, during sec 3 the hipertitiste B blood test took my blood too and the nurse poke me 2 times too! And after that I got blueblack for a week. haha! The doctor prescribed me a week of medicine, PROPRANOLOL. And I was scheduled to come back next monday afternoon again for the blood test result. The first day of school and I just saw the letter sent by my school saying that the principle wanted to talk to us from 3.30pm to 5.30pm. What a nag, talk so long. haha! Whatever..anyway I'm coming back for appointment scheduled at 3.20pm.

Next tuesday, I'm going to skin centre to remove those ugly dots growing on the base of my feet. My appointment was early in the morning 9.50am the nurse told me to come earlier for registration and staff..sigh. Than tuesday I got CCA fair for the new intake. No choice I could only go to shool after the appointment.

I'M A SICK PERSON!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOO-HOOOO~~!!!

Letter to Mother

2007-03-28T01:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Mother,

I'm useless, just useless to you. Because I land myself in ITE and jobless. I don't like doing house work, the reason I mention it so many times! Just you don't want to open up your ears and listen to me. Whatever shit I say is just nothing to you. Everytime I haven't finish talking to you about important things or me..you'll just cut me off half way. Sarcas is how you cut off our conversation. I'm so sick of this piece of shit. Sometimes all I need is you to listen to me, I tried talking to you. Its not as if I didn't talk to you.

Do you know I can't balance job and stuties?
Do you know I'm the chair-lady of Simei TKD?
Do you know I'm TKD brown belt already?
Do you know why I stayed at home during the holidays instead of going out?
Do you know that I feel very vindicated by you?
Do you know I tried to do so many things just to make you like me more?
Do you know I never wanted this to happen between you and me?
Do you know How I really feel?
Do you know me?

I'm just trying so hard to laugh...
Feeling like fuck since the beginning of this week. No pocket money, surviving on nothing, one full meal a day thats all the shit I got. I hate it. I'm not working..there is no other income already for me except for pocket money. I wanted to work, but you fucking people don't let me work what I like! Than I don't have money to eat..the basic need to daily life. I'm starving from the moment I woke up until dinner time. FUCK! Woke up every morning with gastric pain. I don't get gestrics last time..but since last year I'm starved so badly that I developed gastric pain easily! And I think my body is mul-functioning. I meanrly walked a short distance and I'm like panting, wobbly legs and heavy arms. I didn't tell my parents about this especially my mother (cause i don't think she'll listen and start talking before I'm done with my words). I could never get my message across to her. I hate this! She hate me!

Yeah, you people reading might be thinking that I'm self centered. My mom works hard everyday and yet I not understanding to her, letting her have my way. But please, you don't fucking know me well. Sometimes I just feel like ending my life. I have depression yet didn't consult a doctor..my arents don't know about it too. I'm just going nuts. I'm suffering....

With Regards,
Your Hated Daughter.

New Things Again

2007-03-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

I bought N73 finally last friday, and I'm hopping mad with singtel! Anyway, you know what happened there means you know. haha! I'm just glad that I finally got the phone that I want. One funny thing happened is that when I took my brother's photo, my phone hanged. But we we took together or I took some other things/people it won't. There must be something wrong with him. haha!!! Took photo with my botak boyfriend. I'mso happy that he is back. Now he is posted to seletar camp...so far.

Today, I went to get a hair cut again. Been wanting to cut my hair since 2 weeks ago. So I got it cutted before I'm heading off to my grandparents' place this weekend at m'sia. I missed them so much! But my darling boyfriend and girlfriend can't come along with me. =(

There is something up my chest that I got to let it out somewhere! Its about my boyfriend. Whenever he is with his friend's I'm close to nothing to him. his attention is all around his brothers. They are more important. This thing not only happened a time..especially last saturday! We went to watch TMNT with some of his friends..there I'm reduced to almost nothing. Not really spoked to me. I don't smoke, neither am I in their gang. What to do? I'm just nothing when with his friends. I'm kind of sick of these....

Lastly a photo of mine using the old phone cum old hair style (taken when I went shopping alone that time)!!!

Miss My boyfriend so Much!!

2007-03-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

So fast, he has been inside tekong for 3 days already. In order not to ideal myself away this week, I have plans.

Monday,
send him and went to school take exam. Come home after the paper and slept. SMS boyfriend and waited for his calls/replies.

Tuesday,
Wake up in the late morning and got ready for sentosa with my classmates. haha!! Had so much fun! Melvin can't come as he fell sick and boon didn't come as he got to do someting to his cabinate at home. haha! Left the for of us, Shally, Li Yin, Jasmin and me. We took the SENTOSA EXPRESS to beach station and went to siloso. We're so sua ku when taking the SENTOSA EXPRESS! Took a some photos, wanted to sun tan but the sun was not that strong. We sat there facing the sea and realised that its so relaxing! I don't know what to think about there as compared to at home, I tend to think about relationship, money, studies, home, etc. Sat around, chatted, played with water and went to bath. Went back to vivo had our dinner and shopped around. Waited for my boyfriend to call. So, thats how my day passed by.

Wednesday,
met up with Elson to go beach road. Wanted to got my boyfriend a cap, he asked me to. Went to daniel's house first before going beach road. Ate and take some cosmatics home. haha!! He is my supplier. Than waited for them to get ready go beach road. Looked so many shops for hte cap my boyfriend wanted. Than Suyu and I saw a guy wear the cap that my boyfriend wants. So We asked him where he got the cap. He bought it from flash and splash for only $15. Thought of going there if couldn't buy his cap here. But ended up I found a dirty green cap for only $8. So cheap! Shopped around, went downstairs and had a cup of loongan drink and took bus 2 to school for tkd training. Elson went homee after shopping with us. Tkd training, I realised that I dhave damn lousy stamina. As a chairman, I'm the worst. Is it because of my condition worsened or I didn't train enough? Anyway, got to think of ways to buck up myself!!!! Messaged my boyfriend and waited for his reply.

Thursday (tomorrow),
Planned to meet my darling Ganga in the afternoon to buy handphone. Finnally my N73!! Going to get it tomorrow! haha!! I just can't wait. hopefully I get the phone and everything goes smoothly. After buying, go home and charget he new phone.

Friday,
if my boyfriend is out by than I'll meet him. If not I'll spent my day with moM..AND MY NEW PHONE!!! WAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss my boyfriend!!!!! Can't wait for him to come back...but sometimes he is also abit of disappointing to me. Like today, I bought him the cap, told him is dirty green colour..his fist reaction is "EeeEeEe...". Sigh, so sad upon hearing this.

NS

2007-03-19T14:13:00.000+08:00

This morning woke up quite early, 5am. Gave morning call to my boyfriend and got ready for school. Today,
Today is the day my boy is going NS at Pulau Tekong for a week. Met him up early in the morning as he need to be at Tekong by 8. We chatted about alot of things on our long journey to the east. I really missed him alot, can't bear to see him go. I know its just a week, but...Anyway, we parted at 7.15pm at Tampinese MRT. I wish that this week will pass by faster!! So I could see him. haha!! I MISS MY BOYFRIEND VERY VERY VERY MUCH! But I can't call him as his phone batt only left 1/2 and need to survive until satureday! Now, all I can do is send him a message and wait for him to call me at night before he turns in.......

Tomorrow I'm going sentosa with a few of my classmates, meeting them at 12. Hopefully I could wake up earlier. If not I'll be late again. Was late last week for a exam, damn! Stupid traffic Jam and damn my laziness! Going to have fun tomorrow!!!!

I'm going to get myself Nokia N73 by this week! I'll hate myself to the core if I can't get it. GrRrRr~!! It so cheap now.
N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 N73 HERE I COME!!!!!!

Deep Down On Luck!!!

2007-03-17T13:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the day of my luck on holiday!! Whatever I try to do just goes wrong! ok, lets start from the morning.

My handphone alarm rang I switched it off and went back to sleep (how dump of me). My paper was starting at 8.30 and I only woke up at 8am! Rushed to brush my teeth and get ready for the exam. Not enough cash went to withdraw $30 for the cab fare. (1) Quickly went to flag for a cab, than standing infront of me was some bloody idiot who was flagging the cab too! So they 2 got the cab than my turn. Damn them, I'm rushing for exam ok! (2) Than was in the cab, kind of relieve as it should reach my school in 30mins..but who knows the PIE JAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN! Stuck in the Jam for so long and Anthony, my CA, called asking where am I. He was stuck in the Jam too! haha!! By than its already very late, so Anthony asked me to go and get a MC. I asked the cabby uncle to get out of the PIE via the nearest exit. Anyway, I'm near Toa Payoh asked the uncle send me to the poly clinic to get MC. The cab is damn!! $24++ but he uncle only charge me $22. My goodness! The cab fare is actually enough for me to get o school, but because of the stupid jam I ended up in Toa Payoh with a very expensivee CAB FARE!!

Than in the polyclinic, went to register, its damn expensive for PR. Sigh....prices increase. (3) The person assigned me to a room where there's no doctor. What the hell!! Than The nurse explain that the doctor is newly transfered here, he's learning some proceedure thing about the clinic. (4) I waited for 1hours just to get a stupid MC. Aske d the doctor what is those things growing on my fot and he said VIRUS INFECTION, warts or something!! SO SERIOUS! So they refered me to the Skin Centre near novena. After consulting the doctor the referal counter asked me make payment first than come back and collect the referal letter and appointment date. (5) But I forgotten all about the referal letter after making payment and went off to meet Ganga at orchard! By the time I remember I was already in the train at novena station. So got U-turned all the way back(take MRT & switch to bus) to the clinic just for the Appointment Date and Referal letter. Sigh....

Reached orchard and met up with ganga. Told her everything happeend that morning! Tha went to eat with her, all else was fine when Melvin called. (6) He told me that monday got to retake WIM paper! DAMN!! what The hell happened I asked him. He replied that it difficult ot say via the phone, tell me on monday. My book was in locker, how to study sia! SIGH!!!!!!!

SO so SO so SO Suay!!!!!

Exams!

2007-03-13T14:58:00.000+08:00

Its the end of semester exam again. Yesterday had a paper, its so difficult!! Totally cannot make it. Sigh..the teacher gave us focus area for exam, but the focus are we studied I think only test on 30% of it. Tomomrrow is another paper and my last paper is on friday. So many peopl already had their holidays and their last paper is tomomrrow. Envy

My boyfriend, he is going into army in 5 days time. The coming monday. I MISS HIM even before he goes in.

There is motocross this weekend @ *scape. I'm jealous..why do other people alwasy get what they wanted while I'm just here not getting what I've wanted. I hate my life. I hate you people controlling me. I hate Cars don't ask me go get a car licence instead of bike. I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get so pissed off always becuase of things like things. It may be small things for you but not me, you had your dream and might be on the way of making it come true. I'm not, my dream, parents and boyfriend will never agree to it. They are always disagreeing to what I do.
My boyfriend said that I could get the licence and own a bike at first when I register last year. But once I got kids I cannot ride bike again. I agreed unwilling. I want to cry! But now, he won't even let me go for theory lessons! Its so unreasonable. He said something that totally let me down that night, "I'll NEVER have a girlfriend who ride a bike. NEVER!" I'm so hurted and disappointed to hear these words coming out of his mouth.

Shopping Alone.

2007-03-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

I went shopping alone today at Orchard Road. The sky looked gloomy, I thought its going to rain heavily but it didn't. Just like my tears, it almost roll down of my cheek in the MRT!! Sigh..I just went shopping to relieve my stress. Bought only silicon bra ($19.90) at a very cheap prise and a small mirror ($1.90). Ate mee sua at cineleisure and than shopped around at hereen. Bought those things at Metro, Paragon. After that I proceeded to far east wanted to buy a pair of white shorts, but none there attracts me.

Stress 1:
Boyfriend, he went to MOS without telling me last night.
Kept saying me irritating him.
Don't accompany me go out shopping.

Stress 2:
The moment my mom came home this after she started to shout at me.
Irritated.
Shouting at me to hang the laundry, fold the clothes.
I'm not the maid in the house.
My sister is sleeping, brother in school while I have to to do everything!!!!!!!
GrRrRrR~~!!

Stress 3:
Studies, I tried so hard to study but, Sigh....
Force my eyes on the book, but my mind is else where.
Exam is just next week!!!

STRESS AH!!!! STRESS AH!!!

2007-03-08T13:22:00.000+08:00

15 Reasons to Date a Tennis Player.

1. Even when they're not scoring, they're in Love
2. They do it on more than one surface
3. They hit from any angle
4. They grunt when the action heats up
5. They're good with their hands
6. They do it with 2 or 4 people
7. They've got endurance to last 3 hours or longer
8. They wear tiny skirts for easy play
9. They know how to stroke it
10. They do it for unlimited minutes in many different postitions
11. They like to be on top of their game
12. They enjoy getting hot and sweaty
13. They work the balls really well
14. They know how to take it up the middle
15. They play the court until they score

I saw this at Benedict's blog. Just wanted to share it with whoever is reading.
SO FUNNNYY!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA!

Our 9th Months Together!

2007-03-06T01:36:00.000+08:00

We've been together for 9th months!!!!

He's been not treating me too well lately, but I'm still glad that he's here. Today is the 9th months we've been together. Done so much things together. Happy, sad, angry, toughing, etc. Overall I DO consider him Very Good!!! I'll be with him as long as possible. The next celebration I'm looking forward to is our first Anniversary. Ahhh...but i'm not sure if he'll be in army that day. Oh ya!! He'll be going to the army in 2 weeks time! not realy going to miss him though. haha! He is in Pes E (8am-5pm Daily) Yup, thats why.

My weekend was not bad. Spent the nights with my secondary schoomates. Missed them alot!! Especially my ALISON baby! We sang K and I'm the first one to get drunk. I puked and left the place earlier than planned. We really drank. So fun with them, Alison, WeiNi, Jeremy, Eng Kiat, Kelvin, Shi Zheng, Jia Kang, Jin Long. Sang and shouted! They even sun the hokkian drama song!! My goodness, so uncles..LOL!!! I had a very very wonderful Saturday night. Happy 19th Birthday Alison!

Sunday evening went to BBQ organised by Wei Ni. I was there quite late due to the stupid banglahs. They hooked up on the ATM machine quite some time and the ue was freaking long. Reached the place about 9.30pm. Ate bee hoon and BBQ chicken wing. Chit Chatted with them. Reminiscing about the secondary school times. The bad tings we've done and how we used to steal things around, etc. So much more about our best time of our lives. Until now I still think that my 4 years of secondary school life is the best! =D I missed those times. But I know I got o move on and face this cruel world.

yesterday morning went otschool for lesson at 8am. Sat on the same table with Kah Fai. I asked him to shift here with me instead of sitting with sharon they all. haha! I don't want to see my friend from NITEC until now suffer. They are no good people. After that lesson Anthony's lesson cancelled, so we have 3 hours break. SO boring!!! Studied abit here and there and chit chatted again. Soon came Ricky and Lynn (the couple). They sat down the same table as us. But from ym view, Lynn treats ricky very bad. She totally got no respect for Him! A guy...She hit hsi head and scolded him "STUPID!" infront of us! Totally didn't care about his pride. Jessie got say "woah! how could you treat ricky like this infront of us?" They both replied " oh! Used to it already" Ricky isn't happy at that time, could easily tell from his facial expression. Sigh...why do this kind of thing happens. Anyway, I shouldn't say much from a 3rd party point of view as I do not know what exactly happens daily in their lifes. haha! All I could say is "POOR RICKY!"

OOKOKOKOK!!
Enough of my essay writting.
Off to bed now.
Sweet dreams!

IVP 07'

2007-03-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

SO FAST. Laster is going to be IVP for taekwondo and NTU. I haven't sleep yet. So late already.
So tired. This weekend will be very busy! Saturday 8am to 7pm IVP at NTU. Than 9pm KBox and Jurong East Alison's Birthday all the way to 3am. Sunday 8am to 7pm IVP again at NTU. After that to my secondary school's BBQ gathering. maybe 10+ I'll go home rest. hehe!

Just now I made 3 pairs of ear rings. Apair for my pretty birthday girl, Alison. A pair for my sister and one pair for myself. So nice! Michelle gave me this idea and thought me how to do. Thank You! =D The one with the ball is for Alison. The one beside is for my sister. And the last one is for myself (the most not good looking one). lolx. Its quite easy to make actually.

A picture of the earings I made. So proud of myself!!!!!!

The tools and rubbish I used and create .

New Blogskin again.

2007-02-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

Special Thanks to Winson "uncle". haha! He help me with the skin. He is a very picky guys haha! yesterday came asking me to recommand him songs. He want to change his blog's song. Sent him 3 songs than he only say most likely he won't use any of the 3 songs. haha! I know. Too girlie. Than the 4th song I sent him he finally said "ok I'll consider this song. haha! Picky guy.

I just saw my boyfriend up the bus. He went home. Kind of misses him..maybe because he always says want to spend time with me but didn't. Was only standing at the corridor looking down to the bus stop. The bus stop was quite dim, so can't really see him. When I looked up into the sky..I sees the moon shinning brightly but accompanying him was just a dim star. The sky is nice. I bet it must be comfortable to be outside now. Not too cold neither hot.

Before blogging, I saw my cousin's frindster. She went to Singapore umpteen times with her boyfriend and friends. Such a good life. She has been here a number of times already. I envy her life. She seems to have everything I wanted. Excels in studies, freedom, loves, trust, friends. I want to be like her. I want my parents to let me travel to MY HOME COUNTRY with out them. Its dangerous I know, but i've grown up already. 19!!! my friends could do anything they want. Makes their own decisions. I want to go clubbing as and when I like! I want to stay overnight at my friend's house! I want freedom and trust!! Staying out late doesn't mean i'm astray. I'm not. I know my limits. I just know, I'm precaution about things too. Sometimes I don't wish to waste my youth away by sleeping at home everynight. I want to have some fun too..with my friends. Everytime my friend's birthday chalet or party, I have to by home by 11.30pm. I'm missing out so much!! They worry for me, but this is too much. I'm 19!!!!! I can't always be at home all the time. I won't know how badly the world will change. I'm ready to be exposed to this cruel world.

About class today. morning lesson (WareHouse Management) cancelled so I only come for (Princepal Purchasing) lesson. As usual, I'm late for lesson. Kah Fai was not in class, so only left Zalikha, yasmin and sharonjeet. I settled down besde Zalikha and she updated me whats going on in class. Than Sharon commented on my hair. I got messy hair, so what. I like it. Keep those fucking comments to yourself girl. Anyway I wasn't talking to her in the first place. Felt kind of pissed off. Zalikah told her "oh my god, how could you say such thing?!" Than she was like "I'm only joking lah, joke joke." I mean, its too far. Not funny anymore infact, its hurtful. Thats why I complained to my boyfriend LESSON IS SO BORING!!!

Sigh..whatever it is. My life in higher nitec just sucks. I hate going to school now. Whats worse is I totally got no motivation of waking up every morning! I need a change. Those around me haas changed so much. I'm lagging behind.

I've been wanting to own a bike. Get the licence, buy a bike! But everyone close to me is discouraging me. Threatening me. I'm living a life full of regrets now. I'm really wasting myself away. I'm not me everyday. Where is me? Acting from the moment I open my eyes upon waking up. I'm losing myself. Don't bother to help me. Don't. All I need now is to be left alone. Hearing nothing, seeing nothing.

My thoughts.

1 Littre Of Tears

2007-02-27T02:59:00.000+08:00

Yup, I've just finish watching the drama 1 littre of tears. So touching man!! Has 11 episodes but i only cry on episode 10 and 11. haha! I heard from others that they cried all the way. Hmmm..maybe I'm a little cold hearted. Anyway its about a girl, Aya, who was unfortunately disgnosed with Spino-Cerebellum Atrophy. Cerebellum (the portion of the brain located at the back; to coordinate movents) is abnormal. This can interfere with a person's ability to walk, talk, eat, and to perform other self care tasks. However, this cannot be cured. She was clever and excels in sports, has a great family, influence greatly to those around her. But this sickness is like decomposing her day by day. Wasting her away. She begin having difficulties in walking than
talking, writing. Days passes by and her movements is restricted even more. Its so cruel. Its nice to watching, prepare tissues if you are those with very active tear glands. =D

Esplenade Trip With Girlfriend.

2007-02-25T02:28:00.000+08:00

Very happy that day. Nothing much. Went to the roof top and sat there. The sky was gloomy. Rested and drank my milk i bought from THE MARKET PLACE. Here are the picures we took.

Chniese New Year

2007-02-23T13:45:00.000+08:00

Yup. Chinese New Year.

Eve:
Stayed at home clean the whole house up my myself.
Watched TV

1st Day:
Suppose to go out with boyfriend to bai nian, but didn't because of him.
Stayed At home all day with mom and brother.
Watched TV again. Dragons & Dungeongs, Harry Potter Chambers of Secrets and etc.

2nd Day:
Went to my Taekwondo Intructor's Intructor's house bai nian. Went late, Jason sir didn't ang bao. So bad.
Gambled awhile with them, 21 dian lost $1.50
Biggest wins it all. I won 3 times. haha!! $4.50
Went to boyfriend's house at that.
Ate Steam Boat. hehe!! So nice. Recieve 2 more ang baos.
Slacked awhile and went home. Boyfriend folow me to my house bai nian.

3rd Day:
Thought got school but too tired and overslept again.
Still in holiday mood.
End up no school, luckily didn't go. lol

etc.

So boring. Didn't go to school today, overslept. Got to go back to school and return shuttle key. Such a long jurney. Anyway, meeting my dearest girlfriend up. She is accompanying me back to school. Its been 1 year since she left. Going to esplanade after school. Yes!!! Got to go get ready now.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2007-02-14T00:15:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to myself and everyone reading.

Lately, we've been quarelling. Its so bad that we even have the thought of breaking up (though we didn't say it out). At least, I know we can't bear to let each other go. (somethign to be glad about) I really don't wish to quarell with him. Yesterday he even said something that really hurts me deep. Anyway long story...don't wish to post it.

He says talking to me is very stressful. And going out with me is SIAN!! He claims that he can't share anything with me as I'm always not understanding.

Somehow, I not sure. He would rather spend his time with his brothers than with me. =( He complained how his so called brothers didn't look him up at times, how one guy own video-ezy shop $300 (and still adding) under his name, etc. But still he still would rather spend his free time with them complaining than I'm making him stress and dampen his spirits. I felt so hurted!!! I've been crying silently in bed for the past few nights.

Yup, his brothers didn't look him up. BUT I DID! Yet that is the respone I get..too disheartening. Ever since after the funeral, he is acting weird. Putting all the blames on me.

-I Need Freedom! -I'M GOING NS SOON AND I WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY BROTHERS -WHEN I GO NS I'LL SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU..I'm only in from 8am to 5pm mah. Can meet you up for dinner everyday. -You don't like this can anot? I'm very stress already you know. Stress about what I'm not very sure. My head is going to burst! Now I really hope that there is something to take me off the stress!!! Now I know why my friend die. I also want to plurge off the edge and thats it!!!!!

I was like what the fuck! You sure you are willing to meet me every single day like when we were first together?! What about your brothers, don't need to look for them and stay in contact?! I'm so very angry. He is such a liar...big fat liar!!! He used to say that he'll slowly leave his gang, All he need is just some time. But after the funeral, he told me that he'll never leave his gang! Even in the next life he'll also want to follow his that friend who died. Than ditch me aside and enjoy with his brothers. Fuck right! Liar!!! Than saying than I'm stressing him too much, he wants to commit suicide! DAMN!!

I've got so much more to say. But...its just another sad thing in my sad life.

Who Knows Me?

2007-02-11T01:05:00.000+08:00

My mom scolds me for not doing the houseworks. YET I went to help my friend paint his house. I'm really beginning to wonder whats wrong with these people...or me.

- My mom don't know why I hate doing housework at home.

Because whether I do or not, she'll find faults in me.

In a world of make Believe who don't believe in me....

- My sister don't know what I trying to tell her at times.

Please listen to me.

- My brother don't know how much I cares for him.

Share me with me. I'll always try to help in everyway I can.

- My dad don't know how much I really really really want to see him every morning.

Come back home daddy.

- My boyfriend don't know how dearly I miss those nights sitting under the stars with macdonald's happy meal...with him.

I want to relive the happy moments

- The school don't understands why my NITEC can get GPA of 3.5 where else in Higher NITEC i can get only 1.6.

My current CA don't give me enough encouragments.

- My ITE schoolamtes don't know my past.

Do they even care?

- My ex schoomates don't know how hard I try to make them happy.

Who cares..

- My taekwondo-mates don't know I've lost interest in tkd.

Anyway, I don't think anyone could know me inside out unside down. Sometimes I wish that I can understand myself better. Open up myself so thoe around me could know what I need. But reality makes it difficult to do so. If I open myself up and welcome whoever, I'll get stabbed in the back. This happened before. Thats why I seldom talk much since than. Noticed? I bet you didn't. My temper is hot lately, so its better to stay away from me..as far as possible. =(
My stupid sister want to use the computer already. Goodnight.

Changed

2007-02-09T11:44:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning, I got duped to school. Hana got stomache cramp told me she is not going for cross country when i was already in the bus. I thought Juaini will still be going, so I went to school. When I reach Bedok, I smsed her "where are you? meet wehre?" She replied when I was in tanah Merah "I'm not going, cos hana not going." WHAT A SPLENDID REPLY! Came all the way back after complaining to my boyfriend. Now slacking at home. Later going to school again for excursion to JURONG PORT! Stupid, I travelled around the island like a nothing-better-to-do person.

Anyway, I've just finish changing my blog skin. Kind of happier a little. I want more changes. By the way, how to put songs in blog?

Today

2007-02-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

I feel like puking as I'm typing all these. Don't know why, I'm nto feeling very well today. Went to shit the moment I reach school today, headache abit all day long. Now, there is a big lump of disgusting puke all clocked up at my throat.

This afternoon before I left school, I went to sign up for a Cover Girl contest, CINDERELLA (just for fun). Been wanting to join this kind of activities for so long. Never been in any of these before, very happy though no one join this thing with me. Thnx to Suyu and Daniel for their support. My lucky number 53. The voting starts on the coming monday.

okok, can't take it anymore. I need to take a shower before I'm really too sick for it. Than go faint on my bed. Tomorrow morning still got cross country and afternoon volunteery excursion to Jurong port.

I want to change my blog skin!!

2007-02-04T12:23:00.000+08:00

I want to change my blog skin.
Want to change it to a brighter and happier.
I want to add song on to my blog too.
Still looking for suitable blog skin of my likings.
Hopefully can have my very own blog skin.
With my face big on it.
Not only but many.
haha!

I don't want to dwell in saddness anymore.
I want a change.
A new year, a new start.

"Same one brand new year"
The quote I have for the past 2 years.
I want a CHANGE!!!!

A change for the better.
A happier and much fulfilling life.
More colourful too.

Yup, over the weekend, I had my hair cutted and dyed. My hair is so much more relaxed as its not awfully thick. about 70% of my curls are snipped away. Added a colour to my black hair. Wanted to do that for quite some time already. haha! So happy!!

Zoo!!!

2007-01-30T23:02:00.000+08:00

Finally got time to use the computer and blog.

Friday, 260.1.07
We had our WIM pratical test on inbound/outbound. The dumb server can't handle the large number of us using the software. We waited for so darn long to take the stupid test. My class's time slot was 12pm-2pm, it dragged on to 4pm. So poorthing right, waited like idiots outside, the teacher don't want to postpone it. Anyway, completed the test. I had so much pln for that day!! fed up.

12pm - 2pm: Test
2pm - 5pm: Go Plaza Singapore buy boyfriend's birthday present and get home.
5pm onwards: bath, go out buy cookies ingredients and bake his birthday cookies.

My whole plan was dragged behind time. So much behind time. After the test, met up with daniel and suyu, headed to his house ate and watch a episode of ten brothers dvd. Suyu headed to training at hou gang while daniel and I head to PS. reached there at 7++ so late, got everythign done bought whatever I needed an d headed home at almost 9pm!! After I parted with daniel at the bus stop, got one 40+ uncle carrying a little girl came to me and asked to be my friend. MY GOODNESS!!!!!! MADDNESS! I didn't agree to this absurd thing of cause, he is scary. Luckily my bus stop is near by and its crowded. Headed home and prepare everything for my boyfriend's up coming 19th birthday.

Saturday, 27.01.07
Its my boyfriend's 19th birthday!!! Gave him the cookies I bake until weeeeee hours the day before and the present. lolx. he is very happy, so am I. =DD

Sunday, 28.01.07
Suppose to be model for my classmate (her make up exam) but was late. I couldn't find the place! Took cab from the Dhoby Gaut MRT station to there, Peace Centre, rushed around like insane. But couldn't find the place. Sms her and waited for er reply. 1 hour later, she finally replied and told me that I was needed anymore. So early than, the shops are not yet opened. So called boyfriend and asked him how..what to do. He said that he want to join me for some shopping at town. But its only 9++ in the morni ng. So we thought of going to the zoo. And we went there. =D

Had so much fun. I was wear a pair of heels, so I bought a pair of slippers at zoo's Cheers for $9.90. The admission fee was $30 for the both of us. There goes the money we had that day. Actually the slipper's money was our lunch money. haha! too bad, my feet will ache like hell. Luckily my dad called. He sponsored us $50 each. hehehe!!! So delighted. We were so hungry, looking at the animals. They are so cute!! We were already very inside when my dad transfered the money to me. Too bad, the ATM was only at the entrance. So, we walked all the way back to the entrance, took $30 out and ate KFC. I'm having my monthly affair and I forgot to take extra before I leave the house that morning, so got to spend $1.95 buying kotex. HAHA!! Went back in and walked again. Saw a family riding on hourse carriage!! We k-po and wanted a ride on it too. We talked about how shiok it was, how people will envy us, so romantic, etc. haha! And its onyl $8 per adult. Kind of reasonable to us, so we bought tickets to the ride. Its very fun, especially when the "driver" sped when there is not much people. LOL!! Although its just a short journey, we enjoyed it alot. Moreover, its a brand new experience for the both of us. After that, we continue wondering around and headed home. So tired!! A trip like this, we spent a total of $70!!!!!!!

OUR PHOTOS!!!

Lovely Elephants! ("V")

Shopping!!

2007-01-22T14:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went shopping with ganga darling. haha! had so much fun! Went to bugis street, ITS SO HOT!!! Wondered around and bought a pair of jeans. When we first went into the shop, we talked loudly, as if we know the auntie of the shop. haha! bought a pair of tapled jeans. Wondered around, saw some shoes but don't really attract our intention of buying. Went into the bugis juntion for some air con, walked around, came into edge and in a shop there we saw a pair of red orangie high heel shoes. very cute! Triend it on, took some pics, and bought it. haha! The sales girl was good even thought abit ah lian. Her service was excellent. Went for dinner at bugis street again and guess what we found..A BUG!!!! yuck! told the auntie, she denied and even squash the bug. eeeek! So disguesting..

Today, ordered a top online, the goods will arrive before CNY. So happy. I think I've reached my budget already. haha. Oh ya, didn't go to school today.

Bought the jeans at $26, only managed to bargain $2. =.=!
Bought the shoes at $31 after 20% discount.

Now.....ITS TIME FOR OUR PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!

The End.

Interesting Video

2007-01-20T15:07:00.000+08:00

I saw this video at Yahoo just now. The lions are so cute. Seriousely, I didn't know the lions could sing in a choir on the shelve of a MART. HAHAHA!!!!

Didn't Make it

2007-01-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

Phew~! Finally can sit down and blog. I just want to talk about yesterday's IVP'07 Selection. Nothing much, didn't want to go for the selection actually. Totally got no faith, no drive. But its very tempting though. So I went to weigh in. I'm only 41kg!!!!! So light, suppose to be fast and full of energy but I feel like dying yesterday. Trashed like a piece of waste paper. So wasted..inside out, upside down. I never felt so tensed up in sparring before..I want so much to cry that time! I, a mear brown belt, fought against a experienced black belt.

Anyway, like this lor. Chatted and slacked. WK asked me if I want to train for the nationals. 3 days training per week. I don't know man..NATIONALS!! I never gone on tkd competition before, I'm so lack..lack of so much.

Jun Jie just sent me the link of this video..kind of touching. I want hugs!!

Juan Mann- Parents divourced when he was young.
- Live with his grand ma who later passed away.

How it all started:

I'd been living in London when my world turned upside down and I'd had to come home. By the time my plane landed back in Sydney, all I had left was a carry on bag full of clothes and a world of troubles. No one to welcome me back, no place to call home. I was a tourist in my hometown.

Standing there in the arrivals terminal, watching other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together, I wanted someone out there to be waiting for me. To be happy to see me. To smile at me. To hug me.

So I got some cardboard and a marker and made a sign. I found the busiest pedestrian intersection in the city and held that sign aloft, with the words "Free Hugs" on both sides.

And for 15 minutes, people just stared right through me. The first person who stopped, tapped me on the shoulder and told me how her dog had just died that morning. How that morning had been the one year anniversary of her only daughter dying in a car accident. How what she needed now, when she felt most alone in the world, was a hug. I got down on one knee, we put our arms around each other and when we parted, she was smiling.

Everyone has problems and for sure mine haven't compared. But to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time.

http://www.freehugscampaign.org/

Nationals...Nationals...Nationals...Nationals...Nationals...

Can I?

2007-01-15T00:24:00.000+08:00

Its the IVP selection on wednesday. This coming Wednesday. I really want to kick some butt, learn something. I'm gonna be a black belt soon and yet I've learn too little on sparring. I don't want to be a useless black belt holder who sucks in fight. I want some achievement before I get black belt and after getting black belt. I want to know how to fight!! Be a good fighter, though not the best...

But whenever I think about IVP and the coming selection on wednesday I'm kind of scared. I've yet master the basic. My everything is in a mess. My turning kick hit the albow, my pain, my loose. Its the basic. And for my weight 40kg, its a must to have stamina and speed. I don't really have both. Fighting experience...I'm lack of it too. The competition is drawing near day by day. I do not have much time to train. If I were to fight in this IVP, it'll be a tough one. I'm lack of alot of things and the belt level I'm fighting is brown. Which allows fighters to kick opponent's head. I've never kicked head before. I'm so lack of everything.

I'm in such a mess now. I should really plan for my future.. ='(

='(

IVP'07 ?

2007-01-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

Tuesday that time i went to train after the CCA Recruitment drive in school. WeiKang (WK) asked me to come along say maybe I can go for IVP this march. The training is kind of tough. I didn't bring my shin guards and arm guards that day. I didn't expect myself to train that day actually. Ended up having bruises on my arms and legs. WK say I got thoses bruises on my leg is because I didn't kick properly. My turning kick is wrong thats why I kicked my opponent's albow and hurt myself. haha! I agree with what he said lah. I'll correct my way. During the traing we cheered each other on, the feeling was shiok. Cause I normally don't recieve much cheering from those around me now adays. Anyway, its kind of fun training with them ( Daniel, SuYu, Vanessa, Wei Kang & Eddie). =D

I'm not sure about the IVP. I don't have confident actually. It'll be my first taekwondo competition if I'm in. Besides ever since I fell sick the whole of July last year, I've been weak. Very weak. I'll tend to fall sick easily. I wish that my mom will buy me some more fruits. Eat well and sleep well. At night, I must sleep no matter what. I'm still sleeping late though my school term has started. sigh..I've been complaining tired in the day and yet I can't sleep at night. weirdo.

I told my boyfriend that maybe I'm going for IVP. I thought he would encourage me but he didn't and sounded so demoralising. If he would encourage me I'll be so happy. Anyway, I dount those close to me will encourage me. They don't have faith in me I don't have faith in myself either.

If I were to train for IVP, my boyfriend will complain. He'll say I always run so far to train (boon lay-Simei, Boon lay-hougang, etc), always get bruises and than say pain here pain there, less time with him. I know I know, but I'm training for competition, I'm bound to have less time for him. Hope that He'll understand. last time he usd to train everyday too. Sometimes, he just sound like a baddy. lolx. I really want some achivements. He had his which he denied those were his achivments. Maybe our point of view is different.

Happy 2007?

2007-01-03T00:49:00.000+08:00

2006:
- Had a boyfriend in the earlier part of the year. (bad at first but ok now. happy)
- Got Graduated from beautiful NITEC Certificate of Retail.
- Worked with Daniel at Loreal headquaters at some sales thing.
- Made it back to Simei ITE for Higher NITEC.
- Got into class UL0604C, Intergrated Logistics Management. 2 years course
Thought the class was superb at first made it in with a BANG. And than found out its not as good as I thought. Been quiet since than. I missed last year. fuck the teacher. Results sucked too. =(
- Got to know my current boyfriend, Lee Jian Rong. (06.06.06) =D
- fell sick for whole of July.
- Registered for class 2A bike licence on my birthday.
- Worked as a telemarketer for Starhub at Northbridge Building. The job sucks, no sales, see faces.
- Problems occured results sucked.
- Holidays

My 2006 is not nice. Hoping for a better year.

2007:
- Save money
- Will miss my boyfriend (going army on 19.03.07)
- Get better results *
- Work **
- Go for the bike lessons ***
- Able to RIDE my DREAM BIKE TO SCHOOL!!! ***
- Afford whatever I want. ***
- Better friends. ****

Count down

The day didn't do much, just walked around the pasar malam with my sis and mom. Bought some bags and my fake Gucci Envy Me Purfume and Disney's Princess Magnet bookmark. Went home and changed. Went to met boyfriend, Shi Zheng and Kee Siang at K Pool. I reached there late. Anyway, saw someone. Jia Jun, Kecheng and Zhen Yao. Didn't notice them at first but they puposely walked pass me as they pay and leave. I told my boyfriend which one is Jia Jun, the one who hurted me. They stared at each other. Us from the inside and them from the outside. Kind of sad. Boyfriend told me that if they ever say and rot about us in school or what tell him. He'll take them down. Gangster. Anyway, I won't tell him anything...don't want any trouble. Just like this we played a few more games and left the place. Headed to town for count down.

Reach at 11+pm. Saw a old friend Su Wei at the MRT station. Than went to eat KFC at cinileisure. They ordered the meal which consist of 3 types, a zinger burger, popcorn chicken and a piece of chicken with a cup of water. The pop corn chicken was damn little. So much lesser than the other time we ate at Jurong Point. Its suppose to come in the red paper box but they ran out of that. Instead they used the little mash potato container. The height is diferent and the amount is different! So much lesser. The one in the red paper box got about 16 popcorn chicken but the one in the mas potato container only can hold up to 6 pieces. DAMN! haha. They did disturb the manager espacially shi zheng. Finished the damn food and left the dumb place.

Walked from cinileisre to far east. So many people. Walked taka that side instead of paragon. Its safer. Paragon that side is the crazier side. Anyway, see see and walked walked than went to other place after midnight. Didn't even know when the clock strikes midnight. LOL!!! They started playing before it strikes midnight. Crazy People.

Reached vivo at 1am. Walked around Shizheng never been there before. Went to play at the playground and than walked into sentosa, Siloso beach. Wanted to chill there. We tooked 1hr 30mins to reach the beach. There is a party there. No intention to go in. There is shuttle bus in and out of the place. OMG and we walked all the way. We're nuts.

Anyway, took a shuttle bus to the beach station and walked to palawan's 7/11 to buy some drinks. I got the VIP sit in the bus beside the driver infront as the rest got the squeeze behind. haha. Reached the station walked to the 7/11 and walked further down the beach. Kee siang they all saw a turtle made of sand and said its my boyfriend. haha. Lame. They smoked and this and that. Slacked for an hour plus than went back to the 7/11. On the way, Shi Zheng and Kee Siang played badminton with the bangalahs. My boyfriend and I just waited at the side. Watched them played. Like this. End of game and went to 7/11 bought instant noodles. Starving. 4+ already. ate and chatted until 5.30 am. Left the place and took bus home from vivo. The MRT is so packed thats why the buses. SuWei saw me at the boon lay interchange but I didn't saw him. haha. So tired.

Past Few Days

2006-12-27T14:52:00.000+08:00

Christmas Eve:
Boyfriend came to my house. Surprised me with a present. So cute of him. haha. Its a dress he bought for me. So nice although abit loose. I was already dressed when he reached, he demanded that I change into the dress he gave me. LOL!! So changed into that and went to orchard with him. Took neoprint and laminated it. Very pretty. Drizzling outside so walked awhile and went back to jurong area in the evening. Went to his house than waited for him to change. After that went to Rui Yan's BBQ, met my secondary school friends and had fun. Left the place at 11pm and walked home with boyfriend. Watched tv and fell asleep with boyfriend beside me. =D

The dress he bought for me.

Christmas Day:
Nothing much, I slept until the afternoon than wake up. Drank shark fin soup my mom brought home last night and watch christmas cartoons on kids central. Its raining, felt so sleepy and again we slept. haha. All the way to 4+ or 5+. Boyfriend went home left me at home did nothing. Slacked the whole day, also forgot what I did.

Day After Christmas:
Nothing to blog about, normal day.

Yesterday:
As per normal, woke up in the afternoon. My cousin called and woke me up. She came from KL to Singapore and she wanted to visit my mom today. Asked me what time she coming home and how to get to my house. Tld her and went to brush my teeth, eat something and watched cartoon. So boring, going to rain soon. Did alot of things while waiting for her to come. Don't know what time she'll coming. haha. Online, listen to music, bath, eat, etc. Than mom came home. My turn to go out buy something to eat. haha. Bought Smarties chocolate from NTUC and laksa. I forgot to bring my phone out so never mind about it. haha. nothign important anyway. When I reached home, 2 missed calls. 1 unknown and other from boyfriend. The unknown was from my cousin. My mom told me tat she is coming now and tell to go wait for her at the bus stop. I didn't manage to finish my laksa and went down. Came back, my laksa wasn't that nice anymroe, no mood to eat and pour the leftover away. After I ate my laksa, they wanted to go eat dinner. damn. anyway just like this. the eat theirs i only eat dessert. While eating, a girl from the Information counter called and told me they found my wallet!!! HURRAAAY!!! I went to retrieve my wallet while they are still eating. Its indeed my wallet. All was nto gone except for my cash. After that wwent shopping. I bought a pair of movie tickets (Curse of the Golden Flower) and mom bought couisin a pair of shoes. Met my boyfriend and they went off. We watched the lousy movie and headed home. raining, actually wanted to walk home..too bad

Today:
Woke up in the afternon again. Don't know why, I set my alarm at 10am, I woke up at 12.30pm my alarm was off. hmmmm......Anway, nothing much. Super pissed off. My blind brother hang the clothes out when its going to rain. idiot. Than Its so heavey I can't keep it in. I don't get it why he got to hang it out in the first place. HE IS SUCH A IDIOT! Than Ididn't keep all in, my mom came home first thing scold me. why the clothes like this liek that, yak yak yak. Everything became my fault again. So vindicated. FUCKED. Going for training soon. Not in the mood today.

Last Christmas

2006-12-24T03:05:00.000+08:00

Firstly I would like to say

Sorry My Boy, Truely Sorry.

I know I've been a bad girl. I didn't mean to hurt you the way I do..I'm hurting too, seeing you like the way you are last night. Don't say you don't care, don't care about everything. I'm not like her, I love you. Not only for now but for always. =( Its not your fault for loosing my wallet, its my fault didn't even checking it every now and than. I should said those things and hurt you.

Last Christmas,
I had a hell of fun with Winson, Kumar and Eugene!! The four of us, we got to know each other on christmas eve at Shawn's church thing (except for winson and kumar, they are already friends before that). The world is so small. Eugene and winson actually know each other, same factory work place if I didn't remember wrongly. haha. AND our Eugene here, he looks like sylvestier from the first season of Singapore Idol. LOL!!!
We went to town after the church and ate. We reached there slightly before midnight and while eating at KFC, etc. I'll copy down the post from my previous blog a show you guys. haha. Kind of lazy to type so much.

After the Church we took train actually going home, but I kind of plead my mom to let me hang around with friends longer and my mom agreed!! yeah! Than we head to town. but stopped at cityhall, alot of people so we deciede to walk to orchard. unfortunately we got lost and wondered around clark quey and some other uloo places. long long time later we found a familiar bus stop and took bus 190 to our destination. haha. but though we got lost, it was fun...talking about the church thing and stuffs like sinners, liers, retribution, etc. lolx..

The first thing we did was went to eat as our star, Eugene (selvester look alike) was extremely hungry. Settled at Far East Plaza's Fast Food Restaurent. I think we reached town just few mins before midnight. haha. While he ws eatting maddness was going on outside! Spraying and running! Luckily we were inside not outside. After that we thought of buying some sprays too and join in the fun but darn the spray sold at that place was so EX!! $10 per can!! aiyoh!! so we walked on towards The Hereen and challenge see who can manage to stay clean the longest. haha!! End up no t long later 3 out of 4 of us got sprayed. Than we decided to sabo the clean one, Kumar...borrowed a can from a passer by and chase him!!! LOL!! Ended up looking like a snow man. hehe!! Evil~. Continued walking, saw some people completely behaving like a spoilt brat. The whole street was spraying and shouting, if really want to stay clean than they shouldn't appear there that night. When they got Sprayed at, they were nasty. Such Spoilers. Than another type of spoilers are people who finish spraying threw the can at others. GrRrRr~! Anyway, the fun still managed to overwhelm us. At a point of our journey through orchard, Winson got sprayed badly!! HAHA! I think got 5 or 6 people attacking him one. lolx..and the 3 of us just watched as we ran out of spray. Really, he beame a instant snowman. hehehe!!! should have taken a pic of the instant snowman. We played about 5 cans in total. I think..

Planned to stay there overnight but I can't...mom called me go home. boring. Really don't wish to go home so early...but I can't. Walked a long way to find a night rider bus stop further up as we might get some place to sit...but almost got lost again, walked the wrong way. The houses we walked passed was very uloo!!! like haunted house, those seened in movie "The Maid". lolx...amazing, we got so much to talk about. talked all the way back to my house area and I parted with them. They sent me to under my block and slack around my house area. sorry guys, spoilt your mood. haha. Than morning around 6am it rained heavily. Think they went home at aro und that time. For me, I reached home way early like about 3.30am. Bathed and had a hard time washing my hair! lolx..and went to bed with ym hair wet. Can't bother much as I've got nothing interesting to do soon tired and went to bed. 8am breakfast cancelled as the rain the tiredness. Now hungry...hehe!! kidding.

Thats how I spent my last christmas. With 3 of these lovely people. =D I missed them so much. I wish the fun will reply again this year.

Happy 1st Anniversary Guys!!!
=D

Wallet Lost

2006-12-22T20:41:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I lost my wallet. I had responsibility. After using it I put it right back where it is safe..

Last night, my nephew, boyfriend and I went to jurong point and watch a movie (Eragon) at 9.50pm. The first thing we reached Jurong point was go toilet as my nephew want to loo. After that we went to buy the ticket for the movie. My boyfriend paid for my share and my nephew paid for his. After that I took out my wallet and chipped in $5 for the popcorn set while my boyfriend paid for the balance. I put my wallet imediately back into my bag after paying for the popcorn set and zipped it up. Handed it over to my boyfriend to carry it for me all the way until into the cinema.

We found our seat and sat down. Took out the jackets and wear. Somehow, my boyfriend dropped my bag onto the floor under the seat with the zip still WIDE OPEN and the whole back upside down. The cinema was already so dark, we can't see a thing. He just picked up the bag and we continue watching the movie. Too engrossed into it. I forgot completely about my valuables inside my bag, I thought they are safe..So I didn't bother to check the floor. Maybe my thoughts are wrong.

During the movie, my boyfriend passed me the bag to hold and than took it back to take the packet of tibit out to eat. Everything went smoothly, nothing dropped.

When the movie ended, the 3 of us just went off happily without even checking if we left anything behind. How careless. We rushed down the stairs and went to the toilet again. Before we reach the toilet we took our jacket off and wanted to keep it into the bag. So fold it up and sqeeze and digged into the bag while walking. Don't know if my wallet was dropped at that time.

I didn't realise I lost my wallet until this even cause we didn't take the bus home. We walkd home just the save some money and enjoy the wind. Reached home at 12+am and rot until 3.30am than fell asleep.

Woke up this morning at 7.45am don't know why. Sleepy but couldn't fall asleep. Did house work all day long. Than late afternoon, 5.45pm, mom say want to go out eat sushi for dinner. Got ready everything and than I couldn't find my wallet.

Searched everywhere and called my boyfriend asked about the wallet. He didn't seen it. Than we traced back where could it have been lost.

1) in the cinema when the bag dropped
2) while walking to the toilet after the movie

He told me to call the police and repot lost about my wallet. But the police say ask the person in charge where I lost my wallet first. Went to jurong point on my own (boyfriend still working) and asked the cinema guy and the information couter girl. They both didn't found any wallet and told me to fill up a form. Say they'll inform me when they foud the wallet.
Reached home called the police wanted to report lost, really couldn't find it. He asked me if I had any credit card or ATM card inside. I said yes, ATM. Than he told me to suspand the card first than go down to the police station to report lost wallet personally.
Online find the bank customer service hotline and suspanded my card. She told me to bring my passport with me to any branch is I want to make a new card. The card will get on the spot with new pin.
Went to the police station..1 officer, 3 person. I waited outside the station while waiting for my boyfriend to come. Waited for so long until I got stomache, kept on wanting to shit. Finally, The officer is free for me and my boyfriend came just in time. Made the report. He told me the IC can at most wait for 14 days. After the 14 days still can't find the must go down to ICA building to make new IC with the police report. But if can't wait also can go and make first. Sigh...

Now, waiting for the phone call hopefully someone find it and return. My important property is inside the wallet sia.
- I/C
- Ez link card
- ATM
- Cash (luckily less than $10, not alot)

Liu JJ

2006-12-20T02:57:00.000+08:00

Just now, a guy in WLNY messaged me saying care to make friends as per normal. So after replying him something I just viewed his profile. A typical not bad looking guy..In the profile I saw a group photo of he and his friends under a blk at night. That photo contains a very familiar face.

The face of Jia Jun

The glance of the guy in the photo reminds me of him (though I'm not sure if its really him). He was a ex boyfriend of mine. We broke last november which was like a year ago. We aren't together for as long as you people thought I was to dwell so much in those time. I don't know why, maybe because he really did hurt me real deep that time.

I remember that paticular night...
Its late already and I got to get home asap. He didn't want to send me home as he's tired. I know he works and he is tired. We're both busy in the day and we could only see each other at night. At night, I got curfew. So, the time to see him wasn't long. I was missing him so much. My area has alot of foreign workers (banglahs), he don't care about my safety?

I know comparing is bad but I can't help to do so.
Why other guys can send their girlfriends home no matter what and he can't?

I don't know, before that our relationship was already on the rock. That night was the last straw. We quarelled and he unwillingly walked me home. Not a single word was said the whole journey. Not even a goodbye before the lift closes its door. Nothing.
I saw him sitting under my block, he looks depressed and angry. That look in his face, it really hurts me alot. Before he left, I saw him typing a message. I know it was for me. He sent it and left. I looked at him from my unit until I couldn't see him. Every step he took, the smaller he goes, all the way until he vanish down the corner of the block. I read the message after that, I broke down. He says I treat guys like fuck, I don't understand guys. Lets break up. My world came tumbling down. The tears falls as my heart break. He really hurts me deep. All that I did for him, all the love I gave him..

I guess because of the hurt he caused me, I remember him clearly
His eyes, his smile, his touch, his words, his love, his hurt.

Foul Mood

2006-12-18T00:02:00.000+08:00

I'm in such a foul mood today!!! GRrRRrRRrr!!!!

Raining ever since in the morning, was suppose to bring my nephew to the zoo, but because of the rain, we can't go. Than my boyfriend ask me to go orchard for a walk. Damn, rain like shit there, wet heels and walked bare footed along the whole of orchard. luckily I didn't put make up before going out today, if not I'll really curse and swear. haha. I went to the toilet just to use the hand dryer to dry my heels!! Feet so cold..

Anyway, nothing much today. Wanted to buy hand socks (so that I don't need to bring jacket) at only $10 but boyfriend said walk around first maybe we'll find something cheaper and better. Walked walked walked and didn't buy it... Argh!

Idiot, I think I'll bark and bite at anyone who comes near me and piss me off. HAHAHAHA!!!

Cutted

2006-12-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

I think I scratched myself too hard 2 days ago resulting in a cut quite long. I don't know what to do as the pain has been there since than AND tomorrow I'll be having my taekwondo training!!! I can't do big actions as it'll be extremely painful. I have problem peeing, shitting and sometimes even sitting down and walking. What should I do?! I don't have the money to see doctor, don't know which doctor would be better and the cut is not the normal cut you people think.

CA

2006-12-09T00:23:00.000+08:00

WAH!!!! I really got so much to say man!!

Exams:
Wednesday, I got my Principles of Purchasing CA at LT4. There was 3 classes cramped into one small little lecture theater!!! Stupid, some of us got no where to sit so we got the previliage of sitting anywhere. haha! So I took the liberty of sitting beside my GPA 4 friend, Kah Fai. Than beside me was another malay, which I don't know his name. LOL!! I told Kah Fai to help me in the test incase I got alot of questions with unknown answers. And told the Malay guy too. But during the paper, only me and the malay guy discussed the answers. Got 1 question I wrote the answer wrong and he actually kind of push my albow, whispered and show me the right ANSWER!!! WAHAHA!!! So good. Than another question he don't know I showed him my answer. Got some questions I think for a long time than got the answer you know!!! OMG, brain cells die so much. haha! Than my poor friend, Kah Fai, got caught for telling the guy infront answers! I pity him, they are so obvious. lolx. Anyway, the teacher say let them off as they are only first time offenders.

Thursday was my Warehouse & Inventory Management CA. FUCK, I overslept again. Was suppose to leave my house at 10.15am for the 12pm paper. I was late. Took MRT to TanahMerah station and took cab. Reach school at 12.10pm, paper started. The fucking paper wrote that the exam venue will be at B02-07, so ran there. Saw that MEATBALL Anothny The walking around. The first thing he did upon seeing me was shout, "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO AT LT3. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I was shocked, already late and went to the wrong class somemore. So, I just turn and rushed off to the right place without quarelling with him. The meatball didn't see me run and he raised his voice again, "HEY, YOU'RE LATE ALREADY YOU KNOW. DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR EXAM?!" I was like what the fuck. No energy, no mood. How do he expect me to run? Crazy monkey. AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO CARE ABOUT MY EXAM if this module still sucks like hell. ARGH!!! fucker. Reached the Lt3 at 12.15, almost missed my exam. Spoil my mood for that day. Didn't talk much. After the paper, met up with the rest outside LT3 and went to eat. Starving already. Than "Kan Jiong" Kah Fai saw the teacher at the cafeteria and went to "chit chat" with him. After chatting, he told me that the teacher is only giving him a pass for cheating during the paper. SO BAD!!! The teacher didn't deliver what he said. What a bad day.

BUT after that left the group and went to levander bought a HAMMOCK home for the purpose of relaxation. Spend 2 hours packing, cleaning and tieing and VOA LA! Its done. WAHAHA. Something to be happy about. Lying there is really stress relieving!!

Ah~~~shiok.

Pulverised Princess

RenovationS

2006-12-04T15:22:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOODNESS!!! The noises are driving me NUTS!!!! I got 2 more CA papers to sit for DO THEY KNOW? HOW TO STUDY????!!

I wonder which idiot owner is that can't they start work later!!! 2 houses renovating!! Above and under my UNIT!!! Surround sound system. I can't study as well as can't sleep. I regret not going to school today. In school at least I can get away from these noises, the drillings and knockings. AND kindof study abit here and there.

Anyway, I'm going out!!! To where? I'm not sure either...MUST GET OUT!!!!!

Pulverised Princess

Canon in D - Wedding March

2006-11-29T01:54:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, I love this song. Its original song wasn't that bad but kind of boring. Rock version is better.
Heres a link:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1491516901670441597
This guy is good at this song...although a little action. =D

I told Jun Jie just now that if my friends played this song at my wedding day, I'll be a happy bride!! Don't need any gift as a blessing, I'm happy enough with this song. haha. Just love it, its so romantic.

Another version of the wedding March, not axactly what I wanted but its interesting too.

Pulverised Princess

Bad Day

2006-11-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

Actually my day wasn't that bad to start with. But somehow, things took a bad turn during SW lesson in school. Its raining so our SW was held in the Indoor Sports Hall. There were 3 classes sharing the hall and we were allowed to play basketball, fresbee, floorball & street soccor.

I very much wanted to play basketball, but they were playing with the engineering students and kind of serious too. So I changed and sat there until kahfai ask me to join the next game (ps. i was late, thats why next game). The game..IT SUCKED!!! I played like I wasn't there. A game of 4 vs 4 basketball, my team didn't see me except for one. what the hell. Than in the game i look so extra. Didn't have fun. I can't take it anymore left the game 1/2 way. How to play like this.especially for someone who don't know how to play basketball. fucking game.

I went to join the others at floorball. I walked passed a group of girls playing fresbee and was almost hit by the fresbee. After walking passed the girls,

PAAAMMMM!!!!

A soccor ball hit me!!! I felt as though I was about to be knocked out at that time. Fell hard onto the floor, thus using my right hand to break the fall. Results: Headache, Handache. The bones somewhere around my elbow hurts alot...even until now, as I type.
(I know lah, the ball is round anything could happened. So, I complained..but I don't really blame him lah.Moreover he did apologise)

Never mind, went to lockers there to sit as no ball games was going on there. Quite Safe. Chatted with Hana. She also had a bad day. lolx. She was the only one who came to me other than the teacher and the person who hit me when I was down in the hall. The rest just stared. Kinda disappointed. From the SW, I know roughly what kind of classmates I got this time.

Anyway, when reach home at night..I found my bettafish dead in the jar!! My poor fish!! I know he has something wrong already when he didn't eat yesterday and kept on speeding around in the jar like a MADDY. He was a gift from my boyfriend...

1 hour SW
2 unhappy experience
plus my fish died.

Pulverised Princess

Dilemma

2006-11-24T18:17:00.000+08:00

Is it you who has changed?
or
I'm the one too demanding?

You were the one who said will accompany me
But now,
You're the one who dreads about the this.

Where were you when I needed you?
With your brothers or friends.
Where were you when its the time you're suppose to be with me?
With your brothers or friends.

You aren't like this in the past..why?
The sense of insurcurity..its flowing back.
Drop by drop,
Bit by bit,
Night by night.

Did you lost your savour for me?
or
Did I lost the thing that attracts you?

What should I do now?
or
Shell I do nothing but watch this love fades away?

I'm just too scared of loosing you..don't you understand?
Yo Le Necesito

Pulverised Princess

我可以, I Can

2006-11-19T19:43:00.000+08:00

我可以 I Can

作词：林唯/蔡旻佑　作曲：蔡旻佑　编曲：洪信杰

寄　没有地址的信 Send a letter with no address
这样的情绪　有种距离 This kind of feeling, Has a distance
你　放著谁的歌曲 You're listening to who's songs?
是怎样的心情　能不能说给我听 What kind of feeling, Can share it with me?
雨　下得好安静 Rain, Pouring so quietly
是不是你　偷偷在哭泣 Is it you, Crying secretly
幸福真的不容易 Happiness really don't come easy
在你的背景　有我爱你 In your life, There's me loving you

我可以　陪你去看星星 I can watch the stars with you
不用再多说明　我就要和你在一起 Don't need much saying, I just want to be with you
我不想　又再一次和你分离 I don't want to part with you ever again
我多么想每一次的美丽　是因为你 How I wish that my every shine is because of you.

寄　没有地址的信 Send a letter with no address
这样的情绪　有种距离 Ho-Oh Woo~ This kind of feeling, Has a distance
你　放著谁的歌曲 You're listening to who's songs?
是怎样的心情　能不能说给我听 What kind of feeling, Can share it with me?
雨　下得好安静 Rain, Pouring so quietly
是不是你　偷偷在哭泣 Oh~ Is it you, Crying secretly
幸福它真的不容易 Happiness really don't come easy
在你的背景　有我爱你 In your life, There's me loving you

我可以　陪你去看星星 I can watch the stars with you
不用再多说明　我就要和你在一起 Don't need much saying, I just want to be with you
我不想　又再一次和你分离 I don't want to part with you ever again
我多么想每一次的美丽　是因为你 How I wish that my every shine is because of you.
Ho~ Woo

我可以　陪你去看星星 I can watch the stars with you
不用再多说明　我就要和你在一起 Don't need much saying, I just want to be with you
我不想　又再一次和你分离 I don't want to part with you ever again
我多么想每一次的美丽　是因为你 How I wish that my every shine is because of you.
Ho-Oh

My boyfriend and I used to watch the stars until the day almost break once everyweek. Now, its been months since we last went to watch the stars shine. I missed those days. I'm feeling a little distance away from him everyday by day. Maybe I'm thinking too much, but I can't bear to see him waving goodbye to me everytime. I missed him alot. He always said that he would spend the night at my house but most of the time he won't. I felt so cheated...why?

Pulverised Princess

Re: Lil girl.

2006-11-12T12:59:00.000+08:00

I just read Tammi's blog. Wait..do you know that she has a blog? haha. Anyway, I saw her latest update, 12 Nov2006. She wrote about her experience on the train when she met a little malay girl. They both smiled at each other. blah blah blah blah... Moral of the story is that the little malay complimanted on her looks. She felt great. She don't mind if a adult were to tell her how ugly she was but a child telling her how pretty she was.

She had many people criticizing her after the NYP Sex Scandal. Many said that she is ugly, small boobs, etc. But thats the way she is what. No plastic surgeries, botox but her true self. No PLASTIC BARBIE DOLL look alike. Moreover its her phone that was stolen, why no one came out and point some wrong at the stealer? She was a victim. So what if people had sex, its their own problem. In the era, many are starting to get involved even before their hair have finish growing..Anyway, its great to see her becoming stronger.

Last week, when I was on my way to meet my boyfriend and his friends, a little girl and her brother was playing at the staircase and corridor I happen to pass by. The little girl shouted "Cantik seh!!" and than the same thing again to her brother. The brother turned and look at me. He didn't said anything. Just that the little girl about the age of 7 kept on saying "Cantik" (which means pretty in malay) until almost she couldn't see me. Than she shouted goodbye to me. I bid goodbye back to her and she said "see you later!!". PS: I was walking down the stairs that time. haha, I couldn't stop smiling that day. She really made my day.

Yup, I also wouldn't mind a adult saying that I'm not good looking but a child saying how pretty I am. You see, adults' eyes are polluted in some ways or another but a child's eyes? Through their innocent eyes they see natural beauty, not those with heavy make up and fanciful clothes.

Pulverised Princess

Last night

2006-11-01T11:02:00.000+08:00

Last night I didn't really sleep well. I got weird dream again. I dreamt about going back to my kampong than don't know what...coming back to singapore again. On the way to singapore, I saw a graveyard. Quite alot of corpses, unburried. Those Japanese soldiors from WW2. But the corpses was not badly decomposed. Weird, Than I saw one chinese corpse too and 3 Jap lying around it. And further away, some people are digging the graves...don't know what they are up to. Must be to some evil. Anyway, its just weird lah, old kampong, corpses..

Before I sleep, I went to 7-11 to but canned iced mocha and vitamilk. Went to look for my boy without knowing where is he. Met him than we went to find a place sat down and talked abit. After that went back to my blk. Wanted to look at the stars but the haze is still here so no stars. Went to watch night scenery of my area instead. From ground floor took lift all the way up to 20th. Its very scary for me as I have phobia of heights. I stood a distant away from the railing and looked far away. Its amazing, cars going by so small, so quiet and so windy. Orange street lights shining the deserted road. But my legs are trembling so got to get down fast. Walked back to the lift adn took to 4th floor and went back to the house on 5th floor. The view was so different! 5th floor, I can't see far as the other buildings are in the way, not as windy and quiet too. I love the 20th floor actually. Maybe its a new place to go late at night. A new place for me sink into my deep thoughts and relax perhaps....

Pulverised Princess

3rd Slapped

2006-10-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

I don't know what exactly I did to deserve this. Its the 3rd time now that she've slapped me. 2nd time for the past 6 weeks. I've totally lost it now. I'm feeling pathetically lost. Head is aching like shit. Where is novacaine?

It always all my fault. I'm so vindicated. I know that she is tired of me..I know. But I am too... Even my dad is tired of me. I'm so out of place. Whose going to just take me out out of this mess?

I don't know. I nolonger know the meaning of home. Is it a place filled with joy and laughter? Or a place filled with hatred and fear? Everytime I mention about going home, I'll think twice. Think if the place I call home really belongs to me. Its so dreadful. I'm feeling more and more scared...scared of a place called home. The fear of going home everynight won't go away. I don't want to go home tonight, but I know I can't. They'll only detest me more as I'll only be a burden to them. What is home?

What is wrong with me? My stress is piling up... I'm finding life's difficulties harder and harder to curb. I'm sorry I vent some anger one you my boy. I'm so sorry.. I need to get out!! Where is my EXIT sign?

Pulverised Princess

Thanks Dinner/Celebration for IMF Helpers

2006-10-18T01:11:00.000+08:00

Dinner Vanue: ViVoCity
Dinner Time: 6.30pm
Dress Code: Smart Casual

wow! Today only went to school for 2hours. Planned to go home with the rest at 12noon but was delayed due to watching the Mr&Miss ITE thing. Haha, saw my friend. She is very pretty and the guys are very handsome. Went home at 12++. We skipped lesson to get ready for the dinner. We are going to look pretty!!! Anthony said that we must reah there by 5pm. So early...

Met my classmates at the entrance and registered ourselves in. We took anumber of photos outside ViVoCity. After thatwent to walk around the place. Found out that there is nothing we can buy there. Everything was so expensive!!! On the train, my friend and I saw that "BARGAIN HUNTERS: GET READY... " an advertisment of ViVoCity. We can't bargain there as everything is fixed priced and not the forget EXPENSIVE too. We got tired and went to te SkyGarden for a sit. The scenery was not bad but the haze. Again, we took photos of us and the place. Chatted abit and went into the Dinner compound. We got a good place in the compound. Chatted and waited for the events lined up for us to start.

First was the arrival of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong followed by a speech. His grand arrival was lead in by ITE Collage East students!!! So cool. Secondly was the Plaque given to the participating schools principles. We cheered loudly when it was OUR principle's turn. haha.

After that was DINNER TIME!!!! We had a splendid dinner outdoor provided by Banquet (indoor by FoodExchange.) Long que for the food!! We took alot for us to share and we had lime juice. Nice. But the drink run out fast. The fruits too!! Their beef and satay are very nice!!! Thinking of it now makes me hungry again. lolx.

After that we split. Evonne and I went to hve our face cutted out on a piece of paper. That guy is a PRO! The rest went to watch the performance and HADY MIRZA. We rushed there as he started performing already. We squeeze through the crowd and was quite frontlined. He sung "You Give Me Wings". He looked at me for a few seconds AND THAT LOOK ELECTRIC SHOCKED ME !!!!
Eventhough I'm not a fan of his, but whenever a guy with a good voice sings a love song on a stage surrounded by girls and I got eye contact with him.....THE FEELING IS JUST SO GREAT!!!!! fire works ignited within me. I was melted.

Actually the purpose of this trip for us is to EAT (as we were told that dinner cost $30-$40 per person), see beautiful people and watch Hady's FIRST public performance!!!

So, after we've fullfilled our purposes we went back to the same place and gather with all. Chatted for a while than headed home. But I got thirsty so wanted to buy a drink, went to Giant and bought a bottle of drink, took lift up to 7/11 as my friend don't drink not refrigirated drinks. We wanted to head to the MRT station at B2 so we escalator all the way to B2 but found ourselves at the Carpark!! The carpark was so big that we couldn't find the MRT exit. We ended up at the Giant exit, from Giant we walked to the MRT and headed home.

Ahhhh.....what a evening filled with enjoyment. =)

Pulverised Princess

Dog Eyed Ass

2006-10-13T12:23:00.000+08:00

I don't get it why people always look down on others. They think they're better? I don't think so. What makes them think that they are better?! Damn DOG EYED BASTARDS.

Example 1:
I told my friends that I'm in taekwondo. They'll say "SURE anot?! What belt already?" There goes, SURE ANOT. Than I told them that I'm only blue belt, going on brown tip. They'll laugh their butt of after hearing this!! Than laughingly reply me "CHEY!! I thought you're a black belt holder. No big deal man!!"

Example 2:
Another reaction when I told them I was in taekwondo. "HUH? REALLY?! You can fight anot...? You're so skinny, people hit you got broken bones already. Aiyah, stay at home lah, don't always get broken bones, later no gusy wants you."

Damn. What is this world becoming into?! Why is everyone talking like Simon Cowel and Jackie Wu Zhong Xian? Where is the manners that our parents used to taught us when we were young? AND which idiot says that a taekwondo black = to strong? Ever seen a junior belt beaten a black belt?! You can fight means you can fight, whats the point of getting a black where you can't even fight properly.

Black belt defeat a colour belt = normal for colour belt.
Colour belt defeat Black belt = EXTRODINARY!!! GOOD!! for colour belt.

And skinny girls can fight. It just depends if she has the heart to train. Everyone can fight if they are willing to learn and train. And will be a happy fighter if were encouraged more. Encouraging could motivate too. BONES dont break that easily!! If it does than why am I still walking!!

Example 3:
I'm tanned. Dark skin by nature and loves outdoor sports which made me tanned. I don't like to be a fair lady. Than they'll always gives me ugly names like CHARCOAL. "There the charcoal come already" "HEY charcoal, where are you going? Stay away from fire hor, if not you get burnt than become even darking." etc.

Charcoal here charcoal there. This name might not offend all but it offended me! What happened if I call them " Hey fat ass, wher are you going? Toilet arh? Becareful arh...don't get your BIG ass stuck at the toilet. It'll obstruct the human flow....FAT ASS!!!" Surely you guys will get offended. Why didn't they think before saying? Its ok to play once or twice, but not all the time, it'll make my blood boils! We all got names, OUR RESPECTIVE NAMES given by our parents or whoever. Its our name, by not making fun of it is already a great form of respect for others. Somemore calling others such a ugly name. What the hell. Only makes me think that people who does so have no parental teachings. 没家教。

People like to SUAN SIAO each other. Is ok, but sometimes they tend to get overboard. Like in the office, some suan-ing could enlighten the tight atmosphere, but too much suan-ing will turn a office into a battle ground. Same goes to the school. We all can have some fun, but be aware of others feelings. Some are more sensitive than you. Manytimes I got hurt like this. Even my own family suan me very badly at home. I hate home. Due to alot of reasons I hate home. My mom, shes like 40 over, don't even know when to stop. I''ve been with her for like 18 years already, she don't even know how sensitive I am. Don't say sensitivity, what I like she also don't know. I doubt no one really knows.

Pulverised Princess

Dream.

2006-10-05T11:38:00.000+08:00

I fell asleep quite late last night at around 2am. I lie on my bed and fell deep asleep soon. Peaceful and tired.

Dream:
I was inside a place like a mini casino alone with no friends but very crowded though. Its closing time and everyone was rushing out. I was one of those last one to leave the place. And together there was 3 other people, they are friends. I thought its weird why everyone was rushing out like a maddy, soon I know why...

When I was about to reach the exit of the mini casino, a gang of gansters suddenly rushed out and shut the door. Even locked it! Which the 3 other people and I was locked inside with them. They did it on purpose. The gangsters put 4 of us in a dark damp room. I don't know why than I sudden;y began talking to the other 3. there were 2 girls and 1 guy. We talked and talked and talked until we all fell asleep.

Suddenly the gangsters came back and drag us somewhere else again. This time the place looks like a m'sia roadside. The houses looks like those in kampong, old type of abandoned concrete house with those trees growing in. the leader told us that only one of us can go today provided that we can flag down a cab in like 1 minute. I didn't say anything. But suprisingly that the other 3 wanted me to go first. So I agreed and went to flag a cab. The cabs there were difficult to get. Quite a few went passed in high speed...than I started to feel tensed up. I don't want to go back into that dark room. Time is almost up, the person is holding me back. And at the last minute, I managed to get a cab which can at lightning speed too. So, I went off leaving the 3 of them behind.

After that I ended up at a cafe. kind of clean and new. I'm still thinking of the other 3. What will happen to them, will they escape? Did anyone get injured? All those thoughts made me felt so worried. A guy around 22 years old, came over and ask if anything happened. He was well-dressed, decent looking and kind of innocent too. He is polite too. He kind of look like a mediacorp actor, but wearing spec. I told him my story and didn't know what to do.

He suggested that I should go to the police for help and he could drive me there and accompany me. I didn't want to go alone so i agreed to him. We told the police what happened and my clothes got evidance of their finger print. And hope that they could help find the other 3. The police collected some information and than told me to go home and wait for news. So we went off. Just outside the police station I aw the gangster head waving at the police whom we talked to. I turned back and looked at him. He said "Is this evidance? Is this evidance?" And drop those he colected into the dump. what the hell, he is so corrupted.

After that we thougth of going to another police station. Just tahn a girl came up to me and said something offensive. I ask her what is she talking about and she told me "don't know". Showed me a printed piece of paper and told me that its passed to her by the gangster head. Somehow, she followed us to the other police station and make the report. They worked fast as we know how the gangster looked like and kind of where is ths place. All of them was rescued safely the next morning.

I don't know whats the moral of the dream but I just find it very weird.

Pulverised Princess

Results Out

2006-10-04T15:22:00.000+08:00

I just saw my results online. I found out that I did very badly for all of the modules. I think I'm starting to hate school.

Birth of This

2006-10-04T03:09:00.000+08:00

My blog was successfully created on 4th October 2006, 3am.