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Friday, October 20, 2006
Y
2:04 AM
I don't know what exactly I did to deserve this. Its the 3rd time now that she've slapped me. 2nd time for the past 6 weeks. I've totally lost it now. I'm feeling pathetically lost. Head is aching like shit. Where is novacaine?
It always all my fault. I'm so vindicated. I know that she is tired of me..I know. But I am too... Even my dad is tired of me. I'm so out of place. Whose going to just take me out out of this mess?
I don't know. I nolonger know the meaning of home. Is it a place filled with joy and laughter? Or a place filled with hatred and fear? Everytime I mention about going home, I'll think twice. Think if the place I call home really belongs to me. Its so dreadful. I'm feeling more and more scared...scared of a place called home. The fear of going home everynight won't go away. I don't want to go home tonight, but I know I can't. They'll only detest me more as I'll only be a burden to them. What is home?
What is wrong with me? My stress is piling up... I'm finding life's difficulties harder and harder to curb. I'm sorry I vent some anger one you my boy. I'm so sorry.. I need to get out!! Where is my EXIT sign?
Pulverised Princess
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Y
1:11 AM
Dinner Vanue: ViVoCity
Dinner Time: 6.30pm
Dress Code: Smart Casual
wow! Today only went to school for 2hours. Planned to go home with the rest at 12noon but was delayed due to watching the Mr&Miss ITE thing. Haha, saw my friend. She is very pretty and the guys are very handsome. Went home at 12++. We skipped lesson to get ready for the dinner. We are going to look pretty!!! Anthony said that we must reah there by 5pm. So early...
Met my classmates at the entrance and registered ourselves in. We took anumber of photos outside ViVoCity. After thatwent to walk around the place. Found out that there is nothing we can buy there. Everything was so expensive!!! On the train, my friend and I saw that "BARGAIN HUNTERS: GET READY... " an advertisment of ViVoCity. We can't bargain there as everything is fixed priced and not the forget EXPENSIVE too. We got tired and went to te SkyGarden for a sit. The scenery was not bad but the haze. Again, we took photos of us and the place. Chatted abit and went into the Dinner compound. We got a good place in the compound. Chatted and waited for the events lined up for us to start.
First was the arrival of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong followed by a speech. His grand arrival was lead in by ITE Collage East students!!! So cool. Secondly was the Plaque given to the participating schools principles. We cheered loudly when it was OUR principle's turn. haha.
After that was DINNER TIME!!!! We had a splendid dinner outdoor provided by Banquet (indoor by FoodExchange.) Long que for the food!! We took alot for us to share and we had lime juice. Nice. But the drink run out fast. The fruits too!! Their beef and satay are very nice!!! Thinking of it now makes me hungry again. lolx.
After that we split. Evonne and I went to hve our face cutted out on a piece of paper. That guy is a PRO! The rest went to watch the performance and HADY MIRZA. We rushed there as he started performing already. We squeeze through the crowd and was quite frontlined. He sung "You Give Me Wings". He looked at me for a few seconds AND THAT LOOK ELECTRIC SHOCKED ME !!!!
Eventhough I'm not a fan of his, but whenever a guy with a good voice sings a love song on a stage surrounded by girls and I got eye contact with him.....THE FEELING IS JUST SO GREAT!!!!! fire works ignited within me. I was melted.
Actually the purpose of this trip for us is to EAT (as we were told that dinner cost $30-$40 per person), see beautiful people and watch Hady's FIRST public performance!!!
So, after we've fullfilled our purposes we went back to the same place and gather with all. Chatted for a while than headed home. But I got thirsty so wanted to buy a drink, went to Giant and bought a bottle of drink, took lift up to 7/11 as my friend don't drink not refrigirated drinks. We wanted to head to the MRT station at B2 so we escalator all the way to B2 but found ourselves at the Carpark!! The carpark was so big that we couldn't find the MRT exit. We ended up at the Giant exit, from Giant we walked to the MRT and headed home.
Ahhhh.....what a evening filled with enjoyment. =)
Pulverised Princess
Friday, October 13, 2006
Y
12:23 PM
I don't get it why people always look down on others. They think they're better? I don't think so. What makes them think that they are better?! Damn DOG EYED BASTARDS.
Example 1:
I told my friends that I'm in taekwondo. They'll say "SURE anot?! What belt already?" There goes, SURE ANOT. Than I told them that I'm only blue belt, going on brown tip. They'll laugh their butt of after hearing this!! Than laughingly reply me "CHEY!! I thought you're a black belt holder. No big deal man!!"
Example 2:
Another reaction when I told them I was in taekwondo. "HUH? REALLY?! You can fight anot...? You're so skinny, people hit you got broken bones already. Aiyah, stay at home lah, don't always get broken bones, later no gusy wants you."
Damn. What is this world becoming into?! Why is everyone talking like Simon Cowel and Jackie Wu Zhong Xian? Where is the manners that our parents used to taught us when we were young? AND which idiot says that a taekwondo black = to strong? Ever seen a junior belt beaten a black belt?! You can fight means you can fight, whats the point of getting a black where you can't even fight properly.
Black belt defeat a colour belt = normal for colour belt.
Colour belt defeat Black belt = EXTRODINARY!!! GOOD!! for colour belt.
Example 3:
I'm tanned. Dark skin by nature and loves outdoor sports which made me tanned. I don't like to be a fair lady. Than they'll always gives me ugly names like CHARCOAL. "There the charcoal come already" "HEY charcoal, where are you going? Stay away from fire hor, if not you get burnt than become even darking." etc.
Charcoal here charcoal there. This name might not offend all but it offended me! What happened if I call them " Hey fat ass, wher are you going? Toilet arh? Becareful arh...don't get your BIG ass stuck at the toilet. It'll obstruct the human flow....FAT ASS!!!" Surely you guys will get offended. Why didn't they think before saying? Its ok to play once or twice, but not all the time, it'll make my blood boils! We all got names, OUR RESPECTIVE NAMES given by our parents or whoever. Its our name, by not making fun of it is already a great form of respect for others. Somemore calling others such a ugly name. What the hell. Only makes me think that people who does so have no parental teachings. 没家教。
People like to SUAN SIAO each other. Is ok, but sometimes they tend to get overboard. Like in the office, some suan-ing could enlighten the tight atmosphere, but too much suan-ing will turn a office into a battle ground. Same goes to the school. We all can have some fun, but be aware of others feelings. Some are more sensitive than you. Manytimes I got hurt like this. Even my own family suan me very badly at home. I hate home. Due to alot of reasons I hate home. My mom, shes like 40 over, don't even know when to stop. I''ve been with her for like 18 years already, she don't even know how sensitive I am. Don't say sensitivity, what I like she also don't know. I doubt no one really knows.
Pulverised Princess
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Y
11:38 AM
I fell asleep quite late last night at around 2am. I lie on my bed and fell deep asleep soon. Peaceful and tired.
Dream:
I was inside a place like a mini casino alone with no friends but very crowded though. Its closing time and everyone was rushing out. I was one of those last one to leave the place. And together there was 3 other people, they are friends. I thought its weird why everyone was rushing out like a maddy, soon I know why...
When I was about to reach the exit of the mini casino, a gang of gansters suddenly rushed out and shut the door. Even locked it! Which the 3 other people and I was locked inside with them. They did it on purpose. The gangsters put 4 of us in a dark damp room. I don't know why than I sudden;y began talking to the other 3. there were 2 girls and 1 guy. We talked and talked and talked until we all fell asleep.
Suddenly the gangsters came back and drag us somewhere else again. This time the place looks like a m'sia roadside. The houses looks like those in kampong, old type of abandoned concrete house with those trees growing in. the leader told us that only one of us can go today provided that we can flag down a cab in like 1 minute. I didn't say anything. But suprisingly that the other 3 wanted me to go first. So I agreed and went to flag a cab. The cabs there were difficult to get. Quite a few went passed in high speed...than I started to feel tensed up. I don't want to go back into that dark room. Time is almost up, the person is holding me back. And at the last minute, I managed to get a cab which can at lightning speed too. So, I went off leaving the 3 of them behind.
After that I ended up at a cafe. kind of clean and new. I'm still thinking of the other 3. What will happen to them, will they escape? Did anyone get injured? All those thoughts made me felt so worried. A guy around 22 years old, came over and ask if anything happened. He was well-dressed, decent looking and kind of innocent too. He is polite too. He kind of look like a mediacorp actor, but wearing spec. I told him my story and didn't know what to do.
He suggested that I should go to the police for help and he could drive me there and accompany me. I didn't want to go alone so i agreed to him. We told the police what happened and my clothes got evidance of their finger print. And hope that they could help find the other 3. The police collected some information and than told me to go home and wait for news. So we went off. Just outside the police station I aw the gangster head waving at the police whom we talked to. I turned back and looked at him. He said "Is this evidance? Is this evidance?" And drop those he colected into the dump. what the hell, he is so corrupted.
After that we thougth of going to another police station. Just tahn a girl came up to me and said something offensive. I ask her what is she talking about and she told me "don't know". Showed me a printed piece of paper and told me that its passed to her by the gangster head. Somehow, she followed us to the other police station and make the report. They worked fast as we know how the gangster looked like and kind of where is ths place. All of them was rescued safely the next morning.
I don't know whats the moral of the dream but I just find it very weird.
Pulverised Princess
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Y
3:22 PM
I just saw my results online. I found out that I did very badly for all of the modules. I think I'm starting to hate school.
3:09 AM
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