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Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Y
10:05 PM
Special Thanks to Winson "uncle". haha! He help me with the skin. He is a very picky guys haha! yesterday came asking me to recommand him songs. He want to change his blog's song. Sent him 3 songs than he only say most likely he won't use any of the 3 songs. haha! I know. Too girlie. Than the 4th song I sent him he finally said "ok I'll consider this song. haha! Picky guy.
I just saw my boyfriend up the bus. He went home. Kind of misses him..maybe because he always says want to spend time with me but didn't. Was only standing at the corridor looking down to the bus stop. The bus stop was quite dim, so can't really see him. When I looked up into the sky..I sees the moon shinning brightly but accompanying him was just a dim star. The sky is nice. I bet it must be comfortable to be outside now. Not too cold neither hot.
Before blogging, I saw my cousin's frindster. She went to Singapore umpteen times with her boyfriend and friends. Such a good life. She has been here a number of times already. I envy her life. She seems to have everything I wanted. Excels in studies, freedom, loves, trust, friends. I want to be like her. I want my parents to let me travel to MY HOME COUNTRY with out them. Its dangerous I know, but i've grown up already. 19!!! my friends could do anything they want. Makes their own decisions. I want to go clubbing as and when I like! I want to stay overnight at my friend's house! I want freedom and trust!! Staying out late doesn't mean i'm astray. I'm not. I know my limits. I just know, I'm precaution about things too. Sometimes I don't wish to waste my youth away by sleeping at home everynight. I want to have some fun too..with my friends. Everytime my friend's birthday chalet or party, I have to by home by 11.30pm. I'm missing out so much!! They worry for me, but this is too much. I'm 19!!!!! I can't always be at home all the time. I won't know how badly the world will change. I'm ready to be exposed to this cruel world.
About class today. morning lesson (WareHouse Management) cancelled so I only come for (Princepal Purchasing) lesson. As usual, I'm late for lesson. Kah Fai was not in class, so only left Zalikha, yasmin and sharonjeet. I settled down besde Zalikha and she updated me whats going on in class. Than Sharon commented on my hair. I got messy hair, so what. I like it. Keep those fucking comments to yourself girl. Anyway I wasn't talking to her in the first place. Felt kind of pissed off. Zalikah told her "oh my god, how could you say such thing?!" Than she was like "I'm only joking lah, joke joke." I mean, its too far. Not funny anymore infact, its hurtful. Thats why I complained to my boyfriend LESSON IS SO BORING!!!
Sigh..whatever it is. My life in higher nitec just sucks. I hate going to school now. Whats worse is I totally got no motivation of waking up every morning! I need a change. Those around me haas changed so much. I'm lagging behind.
I've been wanting to own a bike. Get the licence, buy a bike! But everyone close to me is discouraging me. Threatening me. I'm living a life full of regrets now. I'm really wasting myself away. I'm not me everyday. Where is me? Acting from the moment I open my eyes upon waking up. I'm losing myself. Don't bother to help me. Don't. All I need now is to be left alone. Hearing nothing, seeing nothing.
My thoughts.
